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In these days more teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all school students. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

In these days more teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all school students. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
Nowadays, the trend of living in foreign countries for educational and work purposes is very proliferating. Some teachers espouse the idea of having international students because it is very constructive for ordinary school students. In this essay, I am going to discuss the pros and cons of it, and giving my verdict on this topic. One very convincing point of having an international scholar exchange is, it aids in the development of cultural diversity across the world. In this program, the student has to live with a host family for survival and it succours them to appreciate and learn the culture of a host country which make them global citizen. Moreover, every country has its own way of instructing students. Therefore, that would help to bring new strategies of learning across the world. Students who interact with international students have the opportunity of learning a new language which helps them to perform better in the new international workplace. For example, in a recent survey conducted by an international firm shows 33% best workers have the experience of living with international junior in their college life. On the other hand, living with stranger gives you a feeling of menace and subdue which could bring down the level of educational achievement. Furthermore, working with international students may cast down the morale of local students. To sum up, despite having various drawbacks of having international students, it is generally productive for school students. According to my verdict, International student exchange helps the world to be global and fruitful, where as there are some limitation.
Nowadays, the trend of living in foreign countries for educational and work purposes is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
proliferating.
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Some
teachers espouse the
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idea
of
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having
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international
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students
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because
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
constructive for ordinary school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. In this essay, I am going to discuss the pros and cons of it, and giving my verdict on this topic.

One
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convincing point of
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having
an
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international
scholar exchange is, it aids in the development of cultural diversity across the world. In this program, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with a host family for survival and it
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succours
them to appreciate and learn the culture of a host country which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them global citizen.
Moreover
, every country has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way of instructing
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students
.
Therefore
, that would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to bring new strategies of learning across the world.
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Students
who interact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have the opportunity of learning a new language which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to perform better in the new
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international
workplace.
For example
, in a recent survey conducted by an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
firm
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
A determiner is probably missing here: "33% the best".
33% best
workers have the experience of living with
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international
junior in their college life.

On the other hand
, living with stranger gives you a feeling of menace and subdue which could bring down the level of educational achievement.
Furthermore
, working with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may cast down the morale of local students.

To sum up, despite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
various drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, it is
generally
productive for school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. According to my verdict,
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International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
exchange
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the world to be global and fruitful,
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
limitation.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay In these days more teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all school students. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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