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Some people think that giving money as gift to teenagers is good while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that giving money as gift to teenagers is good while others disagree. v. 1
Firstly, these days teenagers have a different type of choices for gifts, such as, digital games and electronic gadgets while older people may not have much knowledge about it. Therefore, the adults may purchase simple traditional gifts, which might not be liked by them. Therefore, money could be the best option for presenting to the young so that they may buy their preferred products. Secondly, it can be seen that when a person purchases a gift then he or she may not check all the features as well as material while buying it and it may be useless for the receiver. Hence, money should be given to teenagers, so that they can buy anything after checking all the pros and cons of the product. For instance, when I was in high school, my uncle gifted a watch to me which did not have the modern features like stop watch or world clock and I was not happy with it. Nevertheless, gifts are reminders and whenever a person looks at a present then he or she remembers the person who presented it and therefore money as a gift cannot take the place of gifts in kind because people often forget about cash presents. For example, I remember my brother whenever I see the sports shoes he gifted for my first marathon. In conclusion, according to me, though people give money as a gift to teenagers but purchasing a product instead, will generate more feelings of love and closeness.
Firstly
, these days
teenagers
have a
different
type of choices for
gifts
, such as, digital games and electronic gadgets while older
people
may not have much knowledge about it.
Therefore
, the adults may
purchase
simple traditional
gifts
, which might not
be liked
by them.
Therefore
,
money
could be the best option for presenting to the young
so
that they may
buy
their preferred products.

Secondly
, it can be
seen
that when a person
purchases
a
gift
then he or she may not
check
all the features
as well
as material while buying it and it may be useless for the receiver.
Hence
,
money
should be
given
to
teenagers
,
so
that they can
buy
anything after checking all the pros and cons of the product.
For instance
, when I was in high school, my uncle gifted a
watch
to me which did not have the modern features like
stop
watch
or world
clock and
I was not happy with it.

Nevertheless
,
gifts
are reminders and whenever a person looks at a present then he or she remembers the person who presented it and
therefore
money
as a
gift
cannot take the place of
gifts
in kind
because
people
often
forget about cash presents.
For example
, I remember my brother whenever I
see
the sports shoes he gifted for my
first
marathon.

In conclusion
, according to me, though
people
give
money
as a
gift
to
teenagers
but
purchasing a product
instead
, will generate more feelings of
love
and closeness.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that giving money as gift to teenagers is good while others disagree. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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