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Most societies have homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. To what extent do you agree? v.2

Most societies have homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. v. 2
In contemporary society, homeless people increase annual year. People believe that the best solution for this problem which give them money. However, I agree that people have plenty of best way to solve this problem. On the on hand, people believe that giving money for homeless people is very good solution for society. First of all, governments help them with public financial charity organisation to take the money. Homeless people can buy food or tent if they spend the enough money to purchasing these. On the other hand, I think that giving money for homeless people is not the best way because of some reasons. First of all, if people give them money, this will make them to become lazy because they do not need to find a job due to they still have money annual month. Moreover, when people give them money, this money maybe help them purchasing a tent or food. However, people cannot give money for everyone who do not have home or job. Therefore, this is not the best meansure to help homeless people. In conclusion, giving money for homeless people is not the best way to help them because this way brings some drawbacks for them or society.
In contemporary society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
increase annual year.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
solution for this problem which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
way to solve this problem.

On the on hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
solution for society.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them with public financial charity
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
to take the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
food or tent if they spend the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to purchasing these.

On the other hand
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
not the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them to become lazy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not need to find a job due to they
still
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
annual month.
Moreover
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
maybe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them
The verb 'this' is used with an infinitive: "to purchase" or "purchase".
purchasing
a tent or food.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for everyone who do not have home or job.
Therefore
, this is not the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
Possible spelling mistake found.
meansure
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homeless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
not the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this way brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks for them or society.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Most societies have homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
203 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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