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Many companies sell product or services but a the same time cause environmental damage. Someone said it can be stopped by asked them to pay a penalty, such as a higher tax when they cause the environmental damage. Other said there are better ways to stop v.2

Many companies sell product or services but a the same time cause environmental damage. Someone said it can be stopped by asked them to pay a penalty, such as a higher tax when they cause the environmental damage. Other said there are better ways to stop v. 2
In today' s convoluted world, environmental issues are created by companies are one of the controversial topics among people. I strongly agree that government should impose a higher tax when they damaging the environment. In what follows, I will pinpoint the most irrefutable reasons. To begin with, some products play an important role in people' s lives and their producing should not be halted. To elaborate on, imposing a higher taxes not only provide an opportunity for society to have these indispensable goods but also companies are obliged to reduce their contribution to decrease the pollution. Accordingly, owing to the higher taxes, they are enforced to change their methods to produce goods or buy new equipment, which create less damage. For example, there is a company to produce plastic in our living area. The government installed a sensor in order to measure the contamination index, accordingly, by increasing it from the normal state, government enhances their taxes. Consequently, they bought new and advanced equipment’s, which do not damage the environment much. As a result, higher taxes can be guaranteed both people' s needs and protection of the environment. Apart from decreasing pollution, the second debatable point is that some people believe that governments cannot find a permanent solution to solve this problem basically, and earning money are the main purpose of them through imposing a higher taxes. However, others believe that the earned money could be invested in research and development of renewable sources energy resulting in eliminate or at least mitigate the detrimental effect of what is produced by companies. For this reason, I take the former viewpoint with the pinch of salt and claim that the latter proposal can be a good idea and close to reality. Hence, I do believe that the more government acquire money, the more they can reduce fossil fuel, which they are the main sources of pollution. By way of illustration, according to the survey conducted by the University of Tehran, our government could install 1000 windmill by the money they earn from the taxes. As a result, the taxes can have a positive contribution to reducing of the fossil fuel, which company are using them. To wrap it up, by considering all aforementioned reasons, one soon realizes the positive importance of a higher taxes on decreasing the environmental damage. Thus, in the first place, the companies are forced to use sophisticated tools which mitigate the production of harmful substances, and in the second place, these amount of money could be consumed on renewable sources energy.
In
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s convoluted world, environmental issues
are created
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are one of the controversial topics among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should impose a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
when
Did you mean "they're damaging", "they are damaging", or "they were damaging"?
they damaging
the environment. In what follows, I will pinpoint the most irrefutable reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
products play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and their producing should not
be halted
. To elaborate on, imposing a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provide an opportunity for society to have these indispensable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are obliged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their contribution to decrease the pollution.
Accordingly
, owing to the higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
, they
are enforced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their methods to produce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
new equipment, which create less damage.
For example
, there is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
to produce plastic in our living area. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
installed a sensor in order to measure the contamination index,
accordingly
, by increasing it from the normal state,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
enhances their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
.
Consequently
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
new and advanced equipment’s, which do not damage the environment much.
As a result
, higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
can
be guaranteed
both
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s needs and protection of the environment.

Apart from decreasing pollution, the second debatable point is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
cannot find a permanent solution to solve this problem
basically
, and earning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
are the main purpose of them through imposing a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
.
However
, others believe that the earned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
could
be invested
in research and development of renewable sources energy resulting in eliminate or at least mitigate the detrimental effect of what
is produced
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
For this reason
, I take the former viewpoint with the pinch of salt and claim that the latter proposal can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and close to reality.
Hence
, I do believe that the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, the more they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
fossil fuel, which they are the main sources of pollution. By way of illustration, according to the survey conducted by the University of Tehran, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
could install 1000
Possible agreement error. The noun 'windmill' seems to be countable, so consider using: "windmills".
windmill
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they earn from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
contribution to reducing of the fossil fuel, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
are using them.

To wrap it up, by considering all aforementioned reasons, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
realizes the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
importance of a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
on decreasing the environmental damage.
Thus
, in the
first
place, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
sophisticated tools which mitigate the production of harmful substances, and in the second place, these amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
could
be consumed
on renewable sources energy.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Many companies sell product or services but a the same time cause environmental damage. Someone said it can be stopped by asked them to pay a penalty, such as a higher tax when they cause the environmental damage. Other said there are better ways to stop v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
423 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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