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Many companies sell product or services but a the same time cause environmental damage. Someone said it can be stopped by asked them to pay a penalty, such as a higher tax when they cause the environmental damage. Other said there are better ways to stop v.1

Many companies sell product or services but a the same time cause environmental damage. Someone said it can be stopped by asked them to pay a penalty, such as a higher tax when they cause the environmental damage. Other said there are better ways to stop v. 1
These days, people are ignorant of the importance of the natural world, and how disturbance in the ecosystem can impact their lives negatively. There are numerous reasons for this ignorant attitude. However, various steps can be taken to deal with this issue. There are many reasons why people tend to neglect the maintenance of the natural world. Firstly, their tight schedule and increased competition at work place force them to neglect everything except work. In other words, after spending 10 to 12 hours a day at work, a person is so tired and has little interest in participating in a discussion about maintaining our natural ecosystem. They would rather watch TV to relax their minds. Another reason is the lack of knowledge among people about a few detrimental practices which they follow in their day to day life. For example, people are unaware of the negative impacts of plastic bags on the environment. Furthermore, some people are not bothered about the disturbance created in the natural ecosystem as long as they can earn money from their evil practices. However, there are many significant ways to deal with the issue. Firstly, advertisements are the best way to draw public attention to this issue. When people watch TV programs for entertainment, they can be made aware of the significant benefits of maintaining balance in nature with the help of short ads. In addition to this, authorities should rope in celebrities to promote environmental causes because they are more influential. For instance, Akshay Kumar promotes ban on plastic bags, and a lot of his fans are persuaded not to use plastic bags. Secondly, strict punishment should be awarded for insensitive acts poaching because it will discourage hunters from continuing the practice of killing animals. Hence, disturbance in the food chain can be reduced to a great extent. In conclusion, the hectic schedule and inadequate knowledge among people are the major reasons why people are unable to understand how important it is to maintain the natural world; however, by using the social media effectively and with the implementation of strict policies, people can be encouraged to take care of the natural ecosystem.
These days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are ignorant of the importance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
world, and how disturbance in the ecosystem can impact their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
negatively
. There are numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for this ignorant attitude.
However
, various steps can
be taken
to deal with this issue.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to neglect the maintenance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
world.
Firstly
, their tight schedule and increased competition at work place force them to neglect everything except work.
In other words
, after spending 10 to 12 hours a day at work, a person is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
tired and has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
interest
Adverb repetition. Please, verify.
in participating in
a discussion about maintaining our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
ecosystem. They would
rather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV to relax their minds.

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is the lack of knowledge among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about a few detrimental practices which they follow in their
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
life.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are unaware of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of plastic bags on the environment.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not bothered about the disturbance created in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
ecosystem as long as they can earn money from their evil practices.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
significant ways to deal with the issue.
Firstly
, advertisements are the best way to draw public attention to this issue. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV programs for entertainment, they can
be made
aware of the significant benefits of maintaining balance in nature with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of short ads.
In addition
to this, authorities should rope in celebrities to promote environmental causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are more influential.
For instance
, Akshay Kumar promotes ban on plastic bags, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
his fans
are persuaded
not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
plastic bags.
Secondly
, strict punishment should
be awarded
for insensitive acts poaching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will discourage hunters from continuing the practice of killing animals.
Hence
, disturbance in the food chain can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to a great extent.

In conclusion
, the hectic schedule and inadequate knowledge among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are unable to understand how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
it is to maintain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
world;
however
, by using the social media
effectively
and with the implementation of strict policies,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
be encouraged
to take care of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
ecosystem.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Many companies sell product or services but a the same time cause environmental damage. Someone said it can be stopped by asked them to pay a penalty, such as a higher tax when they cause the environmental damage. Other said there are better ways to stop v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
358 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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