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Some people believe that the activates of large multinational corporations mostly benefits the economies of developing countries Other people take the opposite view and feel that these large multinationals are generally harmful Discuss both views and give v.2

Some people believe that the activates of large multinational corporations mostly benefits the economies of developing countries Other people take the opposite view and feel that these large multinationals are generally harmful 2
Nowadays, the international companies are increasingly expanding all around the world. While some people have a conviction that they contribute to the economies of developing nations, other believes these corporations adversely affect in general. This essay will elaborate how both of the mentioned viewpoints have their own merits and drawbacks, and I think in spite of all the disadvantages, they can bring overall economic beneficial for the countries in which they are operating. First and Foremost, providing new job opportunities for the people is an undeniable consequence of the presence of multinational companies. Youths are the amongst the most influential groups since many of these companies are seeking for young talents who urge to gain experience to be developed. I remember, when I was newly graduated from university, Unilever, which is one of the biggest multinational companies, advertised a vacant position for fresh-graduated students and I applied for it. That valuable work-experience gave me the great exposure to professional environment which led to achieve further prosperity in my career. Furthermore, these companies usually propose higher salary to their employees so that the job satisfaction will be increased. I cannot forget how much I bought my desire stuffs which I could not have afforded before my job in Unilever. Another vital point which needs to be taken into consideration is that by the commencement of multinational companies is equal to eradicating the local businesses. Undoubtedly, many of small internal manufactories cannot compete with foreign companies in terms of either the volume of investment or production so that they inevitably may shut down their operation. Nestle is producing infant food with high quality and standard and when it starts working in my country all people opt to choose this new brand in spite of its higher price. In addition, international corporations typically prefer to bring some foreign work-force which are assigned for higher positions. This means that, although they provide some chances for domestic labors, some limitations are applied which restrict them in the offered work experience. On the basis of the point mentioned above activation of multinational companies can directly or indirectly boost economic of the developing countries and I strongly believe the corresponding disadvantages can be ignored.
Nowadays, the international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are
increasingly
expanding all around the world. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have a conviction that they contribute to the economies of developing nations, other believes these corporations
adversely
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
in general
. This essay will elaborate how both of the mentioned viewpoints have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
merits and drawbacks, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
all the disadvantages, they can bring
overall
economic beneficial for the countries in which they are operating.

First
and Foremost, providing new job opportunities for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
an undeniable consequence of the presence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
. Youths are the amongst the most influential groups since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are seeking for young talents who urge
Did you mean "gaining"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'urge' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to gain
experience to
be developed
. I remember, when I was
newly
graduated from university, Unilever, which is one of the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, advertised a vacant position for fresh-graduated students and I applied for it. That valuable work-experience gave me the great exposure to professional environment which led to achieve
further
prosperity in my career.
Furthermore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
usually
propose higher salary to their employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the job satisfaction will
be increased
. I cannot forget how much I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
my desire stuffs which I could not have afforded
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
my job in Unilever.

Another vital point which needs to
be taken
into consideration is that by the commencement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
is equal to eradicating the local businesses.
Undoubtedly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
internal
Possible spelling mistake found.
manufactories
cannot compete with foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in terms of either the volume of investment or production
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they
inevitably
may shut down their operation. Nestle is producing infant food with high quality and standard and when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
working in my country all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opt to choose this new brand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
its higher price.
In addition
, international corporations
typically
prefer to bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
foreign work-force which
are assigned
for higher positions. This means that, although they provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
chances for domestic labors,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
limitations
are applied
which restrict them in the offered work experience.

On the basis of the point mentioned above activation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can
directly
or
indirectly
boost economic of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
and I
strongly
believe the corresponding disadvantages can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Some people believe that the activates of large multinational corporations mostly benefits the economies of developing countries Other people take the opposite view and feel that these large multinationals are generally harmful 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
367 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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