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Many Children have access to the internet and devices like smart phones, even at very young ages. Do you think this a good trend? What rules should children follow related to internet and gadget use? v.1

Many Children have access to the internet and devices like smart phones, even at very young ages. Do you think this a good trend? What rules should children follow related to internet and gadget use? v. 1
Consumerism is social and economic ideology that encourages people to acquire more products and service in on ever increasing amounts. It is incontrovertible fact that the given topic assert that the consumers better have lots of merits of the human beings outweigh the demerits. In this essay, I am going to examine this question from both points of view. On one side of the argument there are people who argue that the benefits of considerably outweigh its disadvantages. The main reason for believing this is that the consumer goods are very beneficial for the economic growth and development for the country. It is also possible to say that if the people buy, the more thing in the market and they, pay, the more money on this thing, in this way the economy is boosted. Last, but not least, the consumers good shows the life style of the people and they leave the better living standard. One good illustrated shows that after a few years people have no more choices, but now they have lots of things they buy the those things which has lots of features and facilities, in this way people show their living standard. On the other hand, it is also possible to make the opposing case. It is often argued that it has some demerits the people waste the lot of money to buy the consumer goods, whereas, they mostly buy the those things, which is not useful for persons. A particularly good example here nowadays we saw which influence the people to buy the things like the fair creams, they buy this type of products which do not effectual on their skin in this way, the lost the lot of money. Moreover, when the new product launch in the market people throws the old things it create the pollution and affect the health for example the plastic. As we have seen, there one number of answers to this question. On believe, however, I tend to believe that the consumer goods has lot of advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Furthermore, It is said that earth can satisfy everybody need, but not everybody's greed.
Consumerism is social and economic ideology that encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to acquire more products and service in on
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ever increasing
amounts. It is incontrovertible fact that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
topic assert that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
better have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of merits of the human beings outweigh the demerits. In this essay, I am going to examine this question from both points of view.

On one side of the argument there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who argue that the benefits of
considerably
outweigh its disadvantages. The main reason for believing this is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial for the economic growth and development for the country. It is
also
possible to say that if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
, the more thing in the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
market and
they, pay, the more money on this thing, in this way the economy
is boosted
. Last,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the life style of the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the better living standard. One
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
illustrated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that after a few years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have no more choices,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of things they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the those things which has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of features and facilities, in this way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their living standard.

On the other hand
, it is
also
possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the opposing case. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
demerits the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
waste the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of money to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
, whereas, they
mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the those things, which is not useful for persons. A
particularly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
example here nowadays we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
which influence the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the things like the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
creams, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
this type of products which do not effectual on their skin in this way, the lost the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of money.
Moreover
, when the new product launch in the market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
throws
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
things it
Did you mean "creates"?
create
the pollution and affect the health
for example
the plastic.

As we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, there one number of answers to this question. On believe,
however
, I tend to believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
has
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Furthermore
, It
is said
that earth can satisfy everybody need,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not everybody's greed.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Many Children have access to the internet and devices like smart phones, even at very young ages. Do you think this a good trend? What rules should children follow related to internet and gadget use? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
355 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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