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An increasing trend nowadays is for young adults to play computer games. Some people say this is a negative development. Discuss and give your opinion. v.3

An increasing trend nowadays is for young adults to play computer games. Some people say this is a negative development. Discuss and give your opinion. v. 3
The Zoo is considered to be a home away from home for animals. Few people consider that the animals are more safe in them by 24/7 monitoring, feeding and protected from hunters. However, Some people feel the former idea in opposite ways. Because the wild creatures are caught from their home and given an artificial life in zoos. Moreover, they are kept as toys for public. Firstly, many endangered species like olive Ridley turtles, zebra and rhinos are safeguarded from poachers through zoos. They also act as a medium for breeding and expanding the population of species from extinction. Moreover, they offer medical support for the wild animals, maintain the diet and also provide shelter. For example, VOC zoo in Chennai is a home to approximately 134 creatures and has created many records for bringing back animals from endangered zones. Secondly, a group of people believe the concept of home away from home is completely wrong in accordance to habitat. Animals lose their habitat and adapt to the new environment in the closed room. Although they are closely monitored, the space allocated for free roam is restricted to smaller scale. For instance, average walking distance of tiger in the forest is 5 kms a day, but in this case the distance is not more than 2 kms. Considering major points like the above, people request the government shut it down. To summarize, both the views have their own pro and cons to each scenario. Taking in consideration of habitat loss, the zoos need to alter its practice or should be closed down. My view is to segregate different categories. Zoos should consider for maintaining only endangered animals and give them a future.
The Zoo
is considered
to be a home away from home for
animals
. Few
people
consider that the
animals
are more safe in them by 24/7 monitoring, feeding and protected from hunters.
However
,
Some
people
feel the former
idea
in opposite ways.
Because
the wild creatures
are caught
from their home and
given
an artificial life in zoos.
Moreover
, they are
kept
as toys for public.

Firstly
,
many
endangered species like olive
Ridley
turtles, zebra and rhinos are
safeguarded from
poachers through zoos. They
also
act as a medium for breeding and expanding the population of species from extinction.
Moreover
, they offer medical support for the wild
animals
, maintain the diet and
also
provide shelter.
For example
, VOC zoo in Chennai is a home to approximately 134 creatures and has created
many
records for bringing back
animals
from endangered zones.

Secondly
, a group of
people
believe the concept of home away from home is completely
wrong
in accordance to habitat.
Animals
lose their habitat and adapt to the new environment in the closed room. Although they are
closely
monitored, the space allocated for free roam
is restricted
to smaller scale.
For instance
, average walking distance of tiger in the forest is 5
kms
a day,
but
in this case
the distance is not more than 2
kms
. Considering major points like the above,
people
request the
government
shut it down.

To summarize
, both the views have their
own
pro and cons to each scenario. Taking in consideration of habitat loss, the zoos need to alter its practice or should
be closed
down. My view is to segregate
different
categories. Zoos should consider for maintaining
only
endangered
animals
and give them a future.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay An increasing trend nowadays is for young adults to play computer games. Some people say this is a negative development. Discuss and give your opinion. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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