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Many animals are facing extinction in the wild. Why is this happening? What can be done to protect them? v.1

Many animals are facing extinction in the wild. Why is this happening? What can be done to protect them? v. 1
The depreciation of the ecosystem has been a major concern recently. And worthy of notice is the alarming reduction of wild animals. This essay will analyse the causes of this worrisome trend which include rapid urbanisation of rural areas and proliferation of game hunters and proffer possible solutions to abate this problem. Turning to the causes of extinction of wild animals. Firstly, rapid urbanisation of rural area is an important one. For instance, with overcrowding in the cities, people now move en masse to settle down in countrysides. This form of migration as seen in Alaska, where owls were annhilated often leads to encroachment of the ecological niche of these animals and subsequent deforestation in order to get timbers to build houses and furnitures. Consequently, wild animals tend to suffer and eventually die due to failure of acclimatisation of new habitat. In addition, increase in the number of game hunters is another issue. This was established in eastern Australia for example, where game hunters were solely fingered in the extinction of Koala, a tree-dwelling bear. Despite the above challenges, there are possible means to protect these animals. Perhaps the most important is the creation of menagerie. A case in point is the national game reserve in Nairobi, which has greatly contributed to the conservation of animals like giraffes, zebras and ostriches. Also, enforcement of penalties for deforestation. This plan for example has been of benefit in Nigeria, where indiscriminate felling of trees is rampant. And as such, this act was criminalised and culprits are made to pay huge fines or sentence to jail thereby curbing the menace. In conclusion, this essay explained the reasons behind annihilation of quarry which include the increase rate of migration from urban to countrysides and the negative impacts of hunters. And solutions of zoological gardens and outlawing of deforestation.
The depreciation of the ecosystem has been a major concern recently. And worthy of notice is the alarming reduction of wild
animals
. This essay will
analyse
the causes of this worrisome trend which include rapid
urbanisation
of rural areas and proliferation of game hunters and proffer possible solutions to abate this problem.

Turning to the causes of extinction of wild
animals
.
Firstly
, rapid
urbanisation
of rural area is an
important
one.
For instance
, with overcrowding in the cities,
people
now
move
en masse to settle down in countrysides. This form of migration as
seen
in Alaska, where owls were
annhilated
often
leads to encroachment of the ecological niche of these
animals
and subsequent deforestation in order to
get
timbers to build
houses
and
furnitures
.
Consequently
, wild
animals
tend to suffer and
eventually
die
due to failure of
acclimatisation
of new habitat.
In addition
, increase in the number of game hunters is another issue. This
was established
in eastern Australia
for example
, where game hunters were
solely
fingered in the extinction of Koala, a tree-dwelling bear.

Despite the above challenges, there are possible means to protect these
animals
. Perhaps the most
important
is the creation of menagerie. A case in point is the national game reserve in Nairobi, which has
greatly
contributed to the conservation of
animals
like giraffes, zebras and ostriches.
Also
, enforcement of penalties for deforestation. This plan
for example
has been of benefit in Nigeria, where indiscriminate felling of trees is rampant. And as such, this act was
criminalised
and culprits
are made
to pay huge fines or sentence to jail thereby curbing the menace.

In conclusion
, this essay
explained
the reasons behind annihilation of quarry which include the increase rate of migration from urban to countrysides and the
negative
impacts of hunters. And solutions of zoological gardens and outlawing of deforestation.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
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IELTS essay Many animals are facing extinction in the wild. Why is this happening? What can be done to protect them? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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