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In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sum of money on constructing railway lines for very fast train between cities. others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sum of money on constructing railway lines for very fast train between cities. others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. v. 1
Few individuals in a number of countries are of the school of thought that it is obligatory to spend a huge financial sum on building railroads for rapid train movement across cities while others hold a different opinion, believing it is best to enhance an already existing transport system with huge finances. In my opinion, large financial sum should be spent on constructing railway lines as this is the medium through which heavy duty luggage, diesel, fuel and gas are transported, as already existing public transport system can be maintained periodically. The financial quota for construction of a railway line should be a huge sum. This is because, the passage for trains needs to be constructed to standards, as trains are the major means of transporting heavy industrial parts, swiftly across cities, goods which cannot be transported via roads or by air due to their enormous weight. Asides that, the number of people on board in a train at a particular time is a tonne, the weight of both goods and humans are projected onto the railtrack. Thus, large financial sum, expertise and standard building materials are of utmost importance when considering the railway construction. Spending huge sum of money to enhance an already existing means of public transportation can be considered as wastage and improper financial spending. Though, it’s of the utmost importance of service and improve transportation system, the cost allocation should not be outrageous, because basic maintenance is all that is required to avoid accidents. For instance, the cost of improving a federal government road is less than a fraction of the sum required to build a road, which is far more cost protective in comparison to birthing a railway. In view of this, large allocations are unnecessary for maintenance of an existing transport system. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that huge financial sums should be allocated to railway construction rather than improving already existing transport system which requires lesser finances. .
Few individuals in a number of countries are of the school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that it is obligatory to spend a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sum
on building railroads for rapid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
movement across cities while others hold a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinion, believing it is best to enhance an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
already
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
finances. In my opinion, large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sum
should
be spent
on constructing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
lines as this is the medium through which
'heavy duty' seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: "heavy-duty".
heavy duty
luggage, diesel, fuel and gas
are transported
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
already
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existing
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
can
be maintained
periodically
.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
quota for construction of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
line should be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sum
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, the passage for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
needs to
be constructed
to standards, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
are the major means of transporting heavy industrial parts,
swiftly
across cities,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
which cannot
be transported
via roads or by air due to their enormous weight. Asides that, the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
on board in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
at a particular time is a tonne, the weight of both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and humans
are projected
onto the
Possible spelling mistake found.
railtrack
.
Thus
, large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sum
, expertise and standard building materials are of utmost importance when considering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
construction.

Spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sum
of money to enhance an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
already
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existing
means of public transportation can
be considered
as wastage and improper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
spending. Though, it’s of the utmost importance of service and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
transportation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
, the cost allocation should not be outrageous,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
basic maintenance is all that
is required
to avoid accidents.
For instance
, the cost of improving a federal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
road is less than a fraction of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sum
required to build a road, which is far more cost protective
in comparison
to birthing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
. In view of this, large allocations are unnecessary for maintenance of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
system.

In conclusion
, I am of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sums
should
be allocated
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
construction
rather
than improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
already
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
which requires lesser finances.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sum of money on constructing railway lines for very fast train between cities. others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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