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Big Salary is much more important than the job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Big Salary is much more important than the job satisfaction. v. 1
In the era of modern, the money has become a fragment of life. More and more people want to obtain the wages for their many purposes. Many individuals are approaching the jobs which have no interest. Owing to some circumstances they have to opt jobs with big salaries, which is very significant popular than the task satisfactorily. I strongly agree with the hook. Therefore, In the upcoming paragraphs I will explain reasons and add my specific conclusion. To embark with, the selection of an office should be based on own interest, this is because the people who makes a career with their interest, are more likely to be created, new innovations or techniques to accomplish their task efficiently instead of others who do not like their occupation as much. Owing to this not only the performance level, but also the promotion can be enhanced. For example, a numerous of famous researchers made their career choices, not because of appealing wages, but because they were passionate regards science. Nevertheless, if they choose their profession cause of abundance of earning exclusively, his or her carrier will make progress slowly, that's why I recommend this approach. Additionally, quality of relationship with other employees at a workplace is extremely pivotal, which means that if any of the staff member does not feel elated with their co-workers, he or she will tend to get stressed resulting in his or her personal life can be disturbing. For instance, having a good manager or friendly colleagues can make a huge difference to worker's levels of happiness and general attribute of life. Consequently, he or she cannot share personal perspectives on projects so that productivity will be affected, therefore, I agree with this. In conclusion, although a great deal of monthly remuneration does matter, I strongly assert that job satisfaction has tremendous advantages because it makes individuals exhilarated and stimulated.
In the era of modern, the money has become a fragment of life. More and more
people
want to obtain the wages for their
many
purposes.
Many
individuals are approaching the jobs which have no interest. Owing to
some
circumstances they
have to
opt jobs with
big
salaries, which is
very
significant
popular
than the task
satisfactorily
. I
strongly
agree
with the hook.
Therefore
, In the upcoming paragraphs I will
explain
reasons and
add
my specific conclusion.

To embark with, the selection of an office should
be based
on
own
interest, this is
because
the
people
who
makes
a career with their interest, are more likely to
be created
, new innovations or techniques to accomplish their task
efficiently
instead
of others who do not like their occupation as much. Owing to this not
only
the performance level,
but
also
the promotion can
be enhanced
.
For example
,
a numerous of
famous
researchers made their career choices, not
because
of appealing wages,
but
because
they were passionate regards science.
Nevertheless
, if they choose their profession cause of abundance of earning exclusively,
his or her
carrier will
make
progress
slowly
, that's why I recommend this approach.

Additionally
, quality of relationship with other employees at a workplace is
extremely
pivotal, which means that if any of the staff member does not feel elated with their co-workers, he or she will tend to
get
stressed
resulting in
his or her
personal life can be disturbing.
For instance
, having a
good
manager or friendly colleagues can
make
a huge difference to worker's levels of happiness and general attribute of life.
Consequently
, he or she cannot share personal perspectives on projects
so
that productivity will be
affected
,
therefore
, I
agree
with this.

In conclusion
, although a great deal of monthly remuneration does matter, I
strongly
assert that job satisfaction has tremendous advantages
because
it
makes
individuals exhilarated and stimulated.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Big Salary is much more important than the job satisfaction. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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