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M: Hey Shannon, what’s going on? W: Hey John, nothing much, I guess, but I’m having a little trouble deciding what to do now that the bus schedule has changed. M: What do you mean? W: Didn’t you hear? The bus that goes from our dormitory to campus has v.1

M: Hey Shannon, what’s going on? W: Hey John, nothing much, I guess, but I’m having a little trouble deciding what to do now that the bus schedule has changed. M: What do you mean? W: Didn’t you hear? The bus that goes from our dormitory to campus has v. 1
In this expeditiously evolving world, culture, which was earlier exclusive to its own community, has now evolved similar across the globe in its modern form. It is speculated that certain cultural practices have now been adopted around the world. I propound that it is a positive development and I will reason my outlook diligently before implicating a rational conclusion. Throwing light on the pertinent reasons, I believe that with the advancements in international trade, tourism and globalization, people have learned numerous customs of other regions. Consequently, it has proliferated business transactions and tourism rate. Next, immigration, which involves settling permanently in a different part of the world, brings various cultures along with it. As a result, many people in that country start to practise different cultural activities and festivals. To illustrate, due to a decent number of Indians in Canada, Diwali is celebrated by a large proportion of people, including Canadians. Furthermore, the internet is another prominent rationale behind the burgeoning cross-culture. Throwing light on positive developments, I reckon that due to the cultural mix, our emotional intelligence has ameliorated as we have developed the capacity to comprehend other customs. As a result, bonds among various nations have strengthened. Moreover, this has given a gamut of opportunities to businessmen to grow their business overseas without many cultural barriers. To illustrate, a great number of Chinese are now doing business with Canada, due to increasing immigrants and tourism between both the countries. And, this has benefited the regimes and the dwellers of both the nations. To recapitulate, I accentuate that the modern culture is now quite familiar across the globe than ever before, due to improved globalization, finer immigration policies and enhanced social media platforms, which has brought countless advantages, although we should never forget our roots. Therefore, it is recommended to keep a balance between modern culture and old customs.
In this
expeditiously
evolving world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, which was earlier exclusive to its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
community, has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
evolved similar across the globe in its modern form. It
is speculated
that certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
practices have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
been adopted
around the world. I propound that it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development and I will reason my outlook
diligently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
implicating a rational conclusion.

Throwing light on the pertinent reasons, I believe that with the advancements in international trade, tourism and globalization,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have learned numerous customs of other regions.
Consequently
, it has proliferated business transactions and tourism rate.
Next
, immigration, which involves settling
permanently
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
part of the world, brings various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
along with it.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in that country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'practise' is British English.
practise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
activities and festivals. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to a decent number of Indians in Canada, Diwali
is celebrated
by a large proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, including Canadians.
Furthermore
, the internet is another prominent rationale behind the burgeoning cross-culture.

Throwing light on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
developments, I reckon that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
mix, our emotional intelligence has ameliorated as we have developed the capacity to comprehend other customs.
As a result
, bonds among various nations have strengthened.
Moreover
, this has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a gamut of opportunities to businessmen to grow their business overseas without
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
barriers. To illustrate, a great number of Chinese are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
doing business with Canada,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to increasing immigrants and tourism between both the countries. And, this has benefited the regimes and the dwellers of both the nations.

To recapitulate, I accentuate that the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
quite familiar across the globe than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
globalization, finer immigration policies and enhanced social media platforms, which has brought countless advantages, although we should never forget our roots.
Therefore
, it
is recommended
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a balance between modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
customs.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay M: Hey Shannon, what’s going on? W: Hey John, nothing much, I guess, but I’m having a little trouble deciding what to do now that the bus schedule has changed. M: What do you mean? W: Didn’t you hear? The bus that goes from our dormitory to campus has v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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