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The first chart below show how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selection and reporting the main features, and make comparison v.1

The first chart below show how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse emissions which result from this energy use.
Nowadays, hunting is to be considered as a sign of bravery in many parts of the world. Due to this many animals are at the point of extinction. However, various measures could be implemented by the government and schools to solve this issue. Firstly, the schools should add in the curriculum the importance of the balance of ecology. Due to this most children would be aware of that there would be less chance of survival if there were no animals on the planet. Also, they are part of our planet to maintain ecological balance. For instance, if they are aware that many animals are often killed for medical purpose, making leather products, and ornamental things, they will support the government at the time of the campaign. This measure is easy to implement and a positive result will be seen in the future. The major role will be played by the governments in preventing the poachers to kill the animals for medicine as well as commercial purpose. The authorities of the nation have to pass the legislation by imposing heavy fines as well as imprisonment so that the poachers will think twice before poaching. For instance, in Kenya the parliament has passed the law the fine for $1000 and 7 years of imprisonment if any poachers found to kill any animal, resulting many animals are saved for the extinction of endangered species. This step could be implemented by all the governments so that we would save the population of many endangered species. In conclusion, only when the school will add in their syllabus how animals play an integral role for our planet and the government passes the strict law by imposing heavy fines and imprisonment, will the issue be solved.
Nowadays, hunting is to
be considered
as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of bravery in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world. Due to this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are at the point of extinction.
However
, various measures could
be implemented
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and schools to solve this issue.

Firstly
, the schools should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
in the curriculum the importance of the balance of ecology. Due to this most children would be aware of that there would be less chance of survival if there were no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
on the planet.
Also
, they are part of our planet to maintain ecological balance.
For instance
, if they are aware that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
killed for medical purpose, making leather products, and ornamental things, they will support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
at the time of the campaign. This measure is easy to implement and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
result will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the future.

The major role will
be played
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
in preventing the poachers to kill the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for medicine
as well
as commercial purpose. The authorities of the nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pass the legislation by imposing heavy fines
as well
as imprisonment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the poachers will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
poaching.
For instance
, in Kenya the parliament has passed the law the fine for $1000 and 7 years of imprisonment if any poachers found to kill any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
, resulting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are saved
for the extinction of endangered species. This step could
be implemented
by all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we would save the population of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
endangered species.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when the school will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
in their syllabus how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
play an integral role for our planet and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
passes the strict law by imposing heavy fines and imprisonment, will the issue
be solved
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The first chart below show how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse emissions which result from this energy use.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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