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19. In the future, students may have the choice of studying at home by using technology such as computers or television or of studying at traditional schools. Which would you prefer? Use reasons and specific details to explain your choice. v.1

19. In the future, students may have the choice of studying at home by using technology such as computers or television or of studying at traditional schools. Which would you prefer? Use reasons and specific details to explain your choice. v. 1
In this contemporary world, modern cultures around the globe have become indistinguishable, when compared to the past. There are various reasons responsible for this shift. Although, some believe it to be a negative development, I reckon it to be positive. The convenient travel and migration from one country to another, have made people experience the differences and adopt them, as part of their lifestyle. This helps in mixing and adapting to the changed environment well. Apart from this, the internet has played a tremendously vital role in this mentality change. The content available online is taken up from diverse countries, hence people have started following the changed trend. Moreover, famous brands have spread the wings throughout, for example, in a country like India, burgers and pizzas have become very common, because of the wide range of foreign outlets like Burger King available. To embark on the outlook, which contemplates it to be a positive shift, some savants that the understanding and respect for the various cultures have elevated and as a result, the unwanted differences have mitigated. With the burgeoning commonalities, people don't feel the status discrepancy based on certain prejudice. For instance, the western clothing style has gained prodigious popularity on the Eastern side also, and wearing jeans is common throughout the globe. However, some people believe that with this change, the uniqueness of diverse traditions are lost. To summarize, I would say that with the reduced differences the feeling of empathy and respect have increased and thus, everyone feels to be at the same level sidelining the dissimilarities. Hence, we can apparently say it to be a positive development.
In this contemporary world, modern cultures around the globe have become indistinguishable, when compared to the past. There are various reasons responsible for this shift. Although,
some
believe it to be a
negative
development, I reckon it to be
positive
.

The convenient travel and migration from one country to another, have made
people
experience the differences and adopt them, as part of their lifestyle. This
helps
in mixing and adapting to the
changed
environment well. Apart from this, the internet has played a
tremendously
vital role in this mentality
change
. The content available online
is taken
up from diverse countries,
hence
people
have
started
following the
changed
trend.
Moreover
,
famous
brands have spread the wings throughout,
for example
, in a country like India, burgers and pizzas have become
very
common,
because
of the wide range of foreign outlets like Burger King available.

To embark on the outlook, which contemplates it to be a
positive
shift,
some
savants that the understanding and respect for the various cultures have elevated and
as a result
, the unwanted differences have mitigated. With the burgeoning commonalities,
people
don't feel the status discrepancy based on certain prejudice.
For instance
, the western clothing style has gained prodigious popularity on the Eastern side
also
, and wearing jeans is common throughout the globe.
However
,
some
people
believe that with this
change
, the uniqueness of diverse traditions
are lost
.

To summarize
, I would say that with the
reduced
differences the feeling of empathy and respect have increased and
thus
, everyone feels to be at the same level sidelining the dissimilarities.
Hence
, we can
apparently
say it to be a
positive
development.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
One who speaks only one language is one person, but one who speaks two languages is two people.
Turkish proverb

IELTS essay 19. In the future, students may have the choice of studying at home by using technology such as computers or television or of studying at traditional schools. Which would you prefer? Use reasons and specific details to explain your choice. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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