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Some people think that it is a waste of money for countries to host big sporting events like the world cup, and that the money would be better spent on other things. However, others think that hosting large sporting events has a clear, positive impact on a country. v.2

Some people think that it is a waste of money for countries to host big sporting events like the world cup, and that the money would be better spent on other things. However, others think that hosting large sporting events has a clear, positive impact on a country. v. 2
There is fierce competition between nations to host major international sports events like the World Cup or Olympics as it is a unique opportunity to boost the national reputation of the host nation. In spite of its undeniable benefits, I believe that the costs are too great and therefore governments should prioritise other key issues to better benefit their citizens. On the one hand, becoming a host nation for global events such as the World Cup or the Olympics brings a number of economic and infrastructural benefits. During these events, there is an influx of tourists from all over the world who need places to stay, restaurants to eat in and traditional products to purchase. The efforts made to cater to these tourists will remain long after they have gone. The cost of renovating a hotel might pay for itself during the event and then begin turning a large profit in later years. The other main area of development is related to the rapid expansion of quality infrastructure. Nations will be forced to invest in new sports facilities like swimming pools and stadiums as well as make renovations to pre-existing infrastructure like roads and airports. For example, China used the Beijing Olympics as an opportunity to modernise old buildings and roads. On the other hand, these competitions use up tremendous resources from the host nation for a temporary competition. To ensure the success of these prestigious events, governments must waste a large percentage of the nation budget in the years leading up to the competition, oftentimes in the billions of dollars. The newly constructed facilities usually fall into disuse after each tournament. A salient example of this is Brazil as many of the swimming pools and sports facilities that were used in the 2014 Olympics are currently abandoned and becoming decrepit. Meanwhile, there are other pressing issues that have been festering including the need for new schools for underprivileged students and quality healthcare for the elderly population. If the government had prioritised these issues the country would be in a better position and its citizens would have a higher standard of living. To summarize, due to the exorbitant costs, I am of the belief that the government should not allocate such a large percentage of its financial resources to hosting global events with negligible long-term impact. Instead these events should be hosted in the same countries year after year so that the new infrastructure pays for itself over time.
There is fierce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
major international sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
like the World Cup or Olympics as it is a unique opportunity to boost the national reputation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
its undeniable benefits, I believe that the costs are too great and
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritise' is British English.
prioritise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
key issues to better benefit their citizens.

On the one hand, becoming a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
for global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
such as the World Cup or the Olympics brings a number of economic and infrastructural benefits. During these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
, there is an influx of tourists from all over the world who need places to stay, restaurants to eat in and traditional products to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
. The efforts made to cater to these tourists will remain long after they have gone. The cost of renovating a hotel might pay for itself during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
turning a large profit in later years.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
main area of development
is related
to the rapid expansion of quality infrastructure.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nations
will
be forced
to invest in new sports facilities like swimming pools and stadiums
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
renovations to pre-existing infrastructure like roads and airports.
For example
, China
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the Beijing Olympics as an opportunity to
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernise' is British English.
modernise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
buildings and roads.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
up tremendous resources from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
for a temporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
. To ensure the success of these prestigious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
waste a large percentage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
budget in the years leading up to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
, oftentimes in the billions of dollars. The
newly
constructed facilities
usually
fall into disuse after each tournament. A salient example of this is Brazil as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the swimming pools and sports facilities that were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the 2014 Olympics are
currently
abandoned and becoming decrepit. Meanwhile, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
pressing issues that have been festering including the need for new schools for underprivileged students and quality healthcare for the elderly population. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
had
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritised' is British English.
prioritised
these issues the country would be in a better position and its citizens would have a higher standard of living.

To summarize
, due to the exorbitant costs, I am of the belief that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should not allocate such a large percentage of its financial resources to hosting global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
with negligible long-term impact.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Instead
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
should
be hosted
in the same countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the new infrastructure pays for itself over time.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it is a waste of money for countries to host big sporting events like the world cup, and that the money would be better spent on other things. However, others think that hosting large sporting events has a clear, positive impact on a country. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
409 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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