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Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree. v.2

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause social problems, as well as practical problems. v. 2
Nowadays, at first, it is a common problem for immigrates in a new region on how they can speak a new language there. besides that, it may cause problems for beginners like how to make communicate with others or on how to satisfy their basic needs (e. g. : shopping). In my opinion, I agree that living in a foreign country with a new language could be difficult to handle. On the one hand, when you have arrived in a new country with a new language, you may feel a culture-shock and frustrated on how to satisfy your social needs. Furthermore, departed from what is your fluency level, in the beginning, you cannot learn everything about that culture so fast, you have to give yourself time to get familiar with it. For instance, it is a quite usual problem for students when they want to do a postgraduate degree overseas, they face so many linguistic issues. So, I think with time pass you can do better with social behaviour. On the other hand, like opening a financial account in a bank or getting a driving license in a new country is something inevitable to do. Moreover, because you are new and you may have fundamental linguistic problems, it may place you in an unpleasant situation. Having said that, with these new smartphones you can solve the huge part of this problem by using translating apps like google translate. So, it is a common problem for freshmen in a new country to face some practical complications. In conclusion, even though with so many online-translating applications that make our lives easier to communicate with a foreign person, the cultural problems especially in doing social duties remained unsolved.
Nowadays, at
first
, it is a common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
for immigrates in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
region on how they can speak a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
language there.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
besides
that, it may cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
for beginners like how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
communicate with others or on how to satisfy their basic needs (
There should be no space here: "e.g.".
e. g.
Loose punctuation mark.
:
shopping). In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that living in a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
language could be difficult to handle.

On the one hand, when you have arrived in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
language, you may feel a culture-shock and frustrated on how to satisfy your social needs.
Furthermore
, departed from what is your fluency level, in the beginning, you cannot learn everything about that culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
give yourself time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
familiar with it.
For instance
, it is a quite usual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
for students when they want to do a postgraduate degree overseas, they face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
linguistic issues.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
with time pass you can do better with social
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.

On the other hand
, like opening a financial account in a bank or getting a driving license in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is something inevitable to do.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
and you may have fundamental linguistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, it may place you in an unpleasant situation. Having said that, with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
smartphones you can solve the huge part of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
by using translating apps like
Did you mean "Google Translate"?
google translate
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is a common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
for freshmen in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
practical complications.

In conclusion
,
even though
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
online-translating applications that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
easier to communicate with a foreign person, the cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
especially
in doing social duties remained unsolved.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause social problems, as well as practical problems. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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