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Describe a time when the weather caused you to change your plan. v.1

Describe a time when the weather caused you to change your plan. v. 1
Well, I am going to share with you a story of one time when I got up very early. To be honest, getting up early was not really my sort of thing on a regular basis, only on some very special occasions. One such time was during the summer holiday last year. It was our trip to Da Nang with my whole family, which lasted for 5 days. There were lots of things planned ahead, so I did the homework carefully. Because we wanted to avoid rush hours that would probably ruin our whole trip, we had to wake up at 5am to allow time for our careful preparations. It took us 2 hours to get to the airport and fly to Da Nang in the morning. I felt a little bit sleepy because this was the first time I had had to deal with such an early start. However, it promised to be a great time for my extended family to get together, so I was really excited about it. There were 10 of us altogether, and of course we were chatting to each other all the way there. When we arrived, what really attracted me was the fresh air at Da Nang beach. At once, the incredible view totally banished all thoughts of sleep. This amazing trip included many fun times to look back on and it gave all of us a chance to bond with each other. I learnt the hard way that getting up early was as not challenging as I had thought. If I tried my best, I knew that I could do it without too much trouble. For sure, I will make more trips like that in the near future.
Well, I am going to share with you a story of one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
. To be honest, getting up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
was not
really
my sort of thing on a regular basis,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
special occasions. One such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
was during the summer holiday last year.

It was our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Da
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nang
with my whole family, which lasted for 5 days. There were lots of things planned ahead,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I did the homework
carefully
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
we wanted to avoid rush hours that would
probably
ruin our whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
, we had to wake up at 5am to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for our careful preparations. It took us 2 hours to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to the airport and
fly
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Da
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nang
in the morning.

I felt a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
sleepy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this was the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
I had had to deal with such an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
.
However
, it promised to be a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for my extended family to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
together,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I was
really
excited about it. There were 10 of us altogether, and
of course
we were chatting to each other all the way there. When we arrived, what
really
attracted me was the fresh air at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Da
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nang
beach. At once, the incredible view
totally
banished all thoughts of sleep.

This amazing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
included
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fun
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
to look back on and it gave all of us a chance to bond with each other. I
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
way that getting up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
was as not challenging as I had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
. If I tried my best, I knew that I could do it without too much trouble. For sure, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
like that in the near future.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS essay Describe a time when the weather caused you to change your plan. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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