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Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems. To that extent do you agree or disagree. v.40

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems. To that extent v. 40
Foreigners, who struggle with learning the unfamiliar language spoken by locals, are considered by many people to be faced with social and practical issues. In my opinion, I agree with this view as such individuals struggle with isolation and other detrimental problems. Most foreigners who are unable to speak the common tongue of the new country find it difficult to make acquaintances and this results in isolation. That is, owing to their difficulty in communicating with the locals, most foreigners are unable to create new relationships and, as a result, they are isolated and fall into depression. For instance, considering the recent survey conducted in tertiary institutions, the hike in suicide rates amongst the French speaking students have been attributed to depression. These students are unable to form relationships with the native English speakers and this leads to a poor mental health due to segregation. Also, Immigrants, who find it difficult speaking the local language, prefer to purchase desired items from online stores instead of the local market. Instead of purchasing items from a nearby market, these individuals rather resort to making orders from the internet which incurs more expenses and exposes them to fraudsters. For example, considering their poor language skills, many foreign students admit to purchasing basic items, such as toiletries, from online stores instead of a nearby market. While this method may be considered convenient, it is has been referred to as the reason why students are increasingly falling prey to internet fraud. This alternative is admittedly more expensive as it involves charges such as delivery. In conclusion, the inability to speak the native language of the residing country makes foreigners suffer from mental challenges, fall prey to fraudulent activities and opt for more expensive alternatives to purchasing desired items.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Foreigners
, who struggle with learning the unfamiliar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
spoken by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
,
are considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
be faced
with social and practical issues. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view as such individuals struggle with isolation and other detrimental problems.

Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreigners
who are unable to speak the common tongue of the new country find it difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
acquaintances and this results in isolation.
That is
, owing to their difficulty in communicating with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreigners
are unable to create new relationships and,
as a result
, they
are isolated
and fall into depression.
For instance
, considering the recent survey conducted in tertiary institutions, the hike in suicide rates amongst the
Did you mean the adjective "French-speaking"?
French speaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have
been attributed
to depression. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are unable to form relationships with the native English speakers and this leads to a poor mental health due to segregation.

Also
, Immigrants, who find it difficult speaking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
desired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
from online stores
instead
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
market.
Instead
of purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
from a nearby market, these individuals
rather
resort to making orders from the internet which incurs more expenses and exposes them to fraudsters.
For example
, considering their poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
admit to purchasing basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
, such as toiletries, from online stores
instead
of a nearby market. While this method may
be considered
convenient, it is has
been referred
to as the reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
increasingly
falling prey to internet fraud. This alternative is
admittedly
more expensive as it involves charges such as delivery.

In conclusion
, the inability to speak the native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
of the residing country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreigners
suffer from mental challenges, fall prey to fraudulent activities and opt for more expensive alternatives to purchasing desired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems. To that extent v. 40

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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