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Life nowadays is generally much more stressful than in the past. Give some reasons why people suffer more from stress nowadays, and say what they can do to reduce it. v.1

Life nowadays is generally much more stressful than in the past. Give some reasons why people suffer more from stress nowadays, and say what they can do to reduce it. v. 1
Nowadays people are facing a lot of obstacles, which brings more nerve-racking than in the past. Globalization and the way people live these days and are probably the main reason. Fortunately, there are ways people could do to mitigate the pressures in their life. Life was simple in the past because the little of modern technologies and less challenge at work as well as people had less expectation in life. However, globalization and the fast-paced lifestyle have recently developed and they bring up more stressful for human being. That said due to the globalization people have chances to know more about the world such as cultures, languages and new technologies. If one wants to be immersed in the global world, he has to strive his best to achieve those, and that make him become irritated and exhausted. Another reason is the way people are living these days. This could include the challenge at work which make them work overtime and has no time for themselves and their families. As a result, they suffer more and more because they do not have enough time to relax or recharge energy. Luckily, there are many resolutions that people could take to tackle this issue. First, they could put less expectation for their life, such as instead of working harder to become the top of the organization, they could choose not getting to the top, so they would bear less responsibility and get less headache. Second, they could choose to cut off their time and money on chasing modern lifestyles to feel being enough and that could ease their lives from frustration. To sum up, life in the past is much easier because of certain reasons and people could choose the life they want to avoid stressful situation in modern life these days.
Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
obstacles, which brings more nerve-racking than in the past. Globalization and the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
these days and are
probably
the main reason.
Fortunately
, there are ways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could do to mitigate the pressures in their life.

Life was simple in the past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
of modern technologies and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
challenge at work
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
expectation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
However
, globalization and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced lifestyle have recently
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
developed and
they bring up more stressful for human being. That said due to the globalization
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have chances to know more about the world such as cultures, languages and new technologies. If one wants to
be immersed
in the global world, he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
strive his best to achieve those, and that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
him become irritated and exhausted. Another reason is the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are living these days. This could include the challenge at work which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them work overtime and has no time for themselves and their families.
As a result
, they suffer more and more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to relax or recharge energy.

Luckily, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
resolutions that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could take to tackle this issue.
First
, they could put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
expectation for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, such as
instead
of working harder to become the top of the organization, they could choose not
If 'choose' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to get".
getting
to the top,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they would bear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
responsibility and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
headache. Second, they could choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
off their time and money on chasing modern lifestyles to feel being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and that could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
from frustration.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in the past is much easier
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of certain reasons and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could choose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
they want to avoid stressful situation in modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
these days.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay Life nowadays is generally much more stressful than in the past. Give some reasons why people suffer more from stress nowadays, and say what they can do to reduce it. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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