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Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. What are the reasons for this, and suggest some solutions v.8

Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. What are the reasons for this, and suggest some solutions v. 8
No issue in recent years as much as attention as the debate surrounding the increasing in the level of youth crimes. There are several reasons for this problem and various measures can be taken by governments, schools and parents to improve this situation. There are some reasons why the rate of crime in younger people has been growing. The first reason enhances the levels of poverty and lack of education. Indeed, in many cities around the world, poverty, encourages people to turn to crime in order to pay bills and meet family responsibilities. Since the people who live in the deprived areas are frequently compelled to work from an early age, are more likely to turn to mass. Secondly, young people can easily turn to crime owing to the lack of parental guidance. These days more parents in cities both have to work and are often away from home, and in turn they find it difficult to supervise and support their children when needed. Finally, another reason for this issue is that unemployment can lead people to crime due to financial pressure and also lack of structure in their daily lives. However, there are measures to tackle such problems. First of all, the governments should increase social benefits to alleviate poverty. Another way to combat the problem is to have stricter punishment to deter teenagers from mass. Governments also should enforce strict laws so as to prevent young people from committing a crime. In addition, youth should be taught by schools and parents to shun criminals and anti-social behaviour. At the end, offering training programs can stimulate employment, bring hope and give structure to people’s lives. In fact, education and employment can act as a deterrent. To sum up, the increasing level of youth crimes will only be solved if the above mentioned measures are implemented.
No issue in recent years as much as attention as the debate surrounding the increasing in the level of youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. There are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for this problem and various measures can
be taken
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
, schools and parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
this situation.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
been growing. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
enhances the levels of poverty and lack of education.
Indeed
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities around the world, poverty, encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
turn
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in order to pay bills and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
family responsibilities. Since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the deprived areas are
frequently
compelled to work from an early age, are more likely to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
turn
to mass.
Secondly
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
turn
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
owing to the lack of parental guidance. These days more parents in cities both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work and are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
away from home, and in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
turn
they find it difficult to supervise and support their children when needed.
Finally
, another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for this issue is that unemployment can lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
due to financial pressure and
also
lack of structure in their daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

However
, there are measures to tackle such problems.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should increase social benefits to alleviate poverty. Another way to combat the problem is to have stricter punishment to deter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
from mass.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
also
should enforce strict laws
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from committing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
In addition
, youth should
be taught
by schools and parents to shun criminals and anti-social
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, offering training programs can stimulate employment, bring hope and give structure to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. In fact, education and employment can act as a deterrent.

To sum up, the increasing level of youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be solved
if the above mentioned measures
are implemented
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. What are the reasons for this, and suggest some solutions v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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