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Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. What are the reasons for this, and suggest some solutions. v.3

Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. What are the reasons for this, and suggest some solutions. v. 3
Nowadays, the amount of crimes committed by young people are growing continuously all around the world. This essay will discuss the main reasons of this issue and then describe the possible solution of the problem. The foremost causes are the government policy and the lack of education. Generally, it is forbidden to put a teenager under 18 years old in jail because for the government they are not responsible for their acts. For example, in France, their punishment is to integrate a specialise centre where psychologist will explain the law and try to understand their comportment. Moreover, these people are essentially composed by undergraduated or without any education from their parents. Consequently, without a conform education structure, they result to have social issues. According to the professor Testart, in his article for the CNRS, it is reported that 95% of these people have been educated without any restrictions and limits. The possible solutions to this problem include improving the law and follow teenager in difficulties. Even if children could not have the same penalty than an adult, they should have a punishment adapted to level of their crime. For instance, some of them did kill someone. So, this is an irreversible crime and it cannot be judged like another one. They must go to jail, first, by putting them in a centre for people who have their range of age and after they are adult they must be judged like anyone else. Furthermore, psychologist, teacher and specific people should follow these people from the moment they start problems and have any issues with their family. The objectif of this system is to help them. In conclusion, crime for younger people increased a lot since a few years. The main reasons are on the one side, the government policy of the country which give them protection against their crime and on the other side, their education. However, two possible solutions have been quoted in this essay, such as by adapting the law and by following them
Nowadays, the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
committed by young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are growing
continuously
all around the world. This essay will discuss the main reasons of this issue and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
the possible solution of the problem.

The foremost causes are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
policy and the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Generally
, it
is forbidden
to put a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
under 18 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
in jail
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
they are not responsible for their acts.
For example
, in France, their punishment is to integrate
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'specialise' is correct. If 'specialise' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a specialise
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
where psychologist will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the law and try to understand their comportment.
Moreover
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
essentially
composed by
Possible spelling mistake found.
undergraduated
or without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
from their parents.
Consequently
, without
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'conform' is correct. If 'conform' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a conform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
structure, they result to have social issues. According to the professor
Possible spelling mistake found.
Testart
, in his article for the CNRS, it
is reported
that 95% of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
been educated
without any restrictions and limits.

The possible solutions to this problem include improving the law and follow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
in difficulties. Even if children could not have the same penalty
Comparison is written 'the same ... "as"'.
than
an adult, they should have a punishment adapted to level of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them did kill someone.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this is an irreversible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and it cannot
be judged
like another one. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
go to jail,
first
, by putting them in a
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have their range of age and after they are adult they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be judged
like anyone else.
Furthermore
, psychologist, teacher and specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should follow these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the moment they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
problems and have any issues with their family. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
objectif
of this system is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
for younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
increased a lot since a few years. The main reasons are on the one side, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
policy of the country which give them protection against their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and on the other side, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
However
, two possible solutions have
been quoted
in this essay, such as by adapting the law and by following them
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. What are the reasons for this, and suggest some solutions. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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