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Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinions. v.2

People have different views about how to support creative artists financially. While some believe that governments should subsidise artists, others argue that there should be other ways to fund them. In my opinion, governments’ funds should be dedicated to more vital issues than luxuries such as the arts, and that alternatives should be used to support artists. On the one hand, some people argue that it is an imperative for governments to help artists financially to help them improve their work. They claim that each government is responsible for protecting the history and culture of the country, and artists are the best treasures that can teach people about such values through their artworks. Therefore, the more artists are able to develop their work by the help of the government’s support, the more historic and cultural heritage will be in the country. On the other hand, others believe that for several reasons, other funding sources should be considered to help creative artists. Firstly, these funds could be better granted to more pressing needs in society. For example, the healthcare system and education need more financial support from the government, and they should be prioritised over artists. Secondly, there are enough wealthy patrons to subsidise artists. For instance, a lot of celebrities who are interested in the arts are keen to fund them. Therefore, with the help of other funders, there is no necessity for governments to spend money on these artists. In conclusion, although I agree that creative artists need to be supported financially to be able to continue, governments should spend money on more important matters, and that other funders would be alternatives to fund these artists.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
financially
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should subsidise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
, others argue that there should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ways to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fund
them. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments’
funds should
be dedicated
to more vital issues than luxuries such as the arts, and that alternatives should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
artists.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that it is an imperative for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
financially
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their work. They claim that each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is responsible for protecting the history and culture of the country, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
are the best treasures that can teach
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about such values through their artworks.
Therefore
, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
are able to develop their work by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
, the more historic and cultural heritage will be in the country.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, others believe that for several reasons,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
funding sources should
be considered
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
.
Firstly
, these funds could be better granted to more pressing needs in society.
For example
, the healthcare system and education need more financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, and they should
be prioritised
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
.
Secondly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
wealthy patrons to subsidise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
celebrities who
are interested
in the arts are keen to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fund
them.
Therefore
, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
funders, there is no necessity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
to spend money on these artists.

In conclusion
, although I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
need to
be supported
financially
to be able to continue,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should spend money on more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
matters, and that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
funders would be alternatives to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fund
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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