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Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. What are the reasons for this, and suggest some solutions. v.7

Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. What are the reasons for this, and suggest some solutions. v. 7
Every crime has its own reasons and even after continuous efforts and reforms by governments the rate of crime incidents can't be brought under control. Despite significant advancements in communication technologies and tracking devices still judicial systems find less or no improvements in their goal of peaceful society. As technological developments not just limited to good citizens, but also accessible to the miscreants creating roadblocks in development. In this essay some reasons for surge in unlawful activities and the ways to control it will be discussed. One of the more common affidavits provided by convicts witnessed by courts during trials is poverty. Poverty the mother of all crimes can bring out the evil side of even honest people and in addition unemployment fuels this monster. So through economical reforms and providing youngsters with relevant income opportunities crimes can be controlled, but it cannot be eliminated completely as regular income can only prevents first time law offenders but not the matured criminals. Another factor which restrains or forces regular offenders towards crime again is discrimination by society. A person once punished by law will be isolated from the general public and even their immediate family and friend circle. And hence due to unavailability of moral support and loneliness they get back into wrong track once again. In particular teenagers are vulnerable to repeating crimes and therefore it is the responsibility of parents, friends and the society to guide them rather than ignoring. Developing more rehabilitation centres and offering financial aids for doing small business can help them to get back into normal life. However, there are certain crimes and offences which need severe punishments like a death sentence, otherwise some psychopathic cold blooded murderers cannot be stopped. In summary, law and order in societies can be maintained by reducing poverty through employment and also by rehabilitation efforts. Although there are certain cases which needs to handled with iron fists.
Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
reasons and even after continuous efforts and reforms by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
incidents can't
be brought
under control. Despite significant advancements in communication technologies and tracking devices
still
judicial systems find less or no improvements in their goal of peaceful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. As technological developments not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
limited to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
citizens,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
accessible to the miscreants creating roadblocks in development. In this essay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons for surge in unlawful activities and the ways to control it will
be discussed
.

One of the more common affidavits provided by convicts witnessed by courts during trials is poverty. Poverty the mother of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
can bring out the evil side of even honest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
in addition
unemployment fuels this monster.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
through
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
reforms and providing youngsters with relevant income opportunities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
can
be controlled
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it cannot
be eliminated
completely as regular income can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
first
time law offenders
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the matured criminals.

Another factor which restrains or forces regular offenders towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
again is discrimination by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. A person once punished by law will
be isolated
from the
Consider using "public".
general public
and even their immediate family and friend circle. And
hence
due to unavailability of moral support and loneliness they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
back into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
once again.
In particular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are vulnerable to repeating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and
therefore
it is the responsibility of parents, friends and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
to guide them
rather
than ignoring. Developing more rehabilitation
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
and offering financial aids for doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
business can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
back into normal life.

However
, there are certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
which need severe punishments like a death sentence,
otherwise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
psychopathic
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
cold blooded
murderers cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
.

In summary, law and order in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
can
be maintained
by reducing poverty through employment and
also
by rehabilitation efforts.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
there are certain cases which needs to handled with iron fists.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. What are the reasons for this, and suggest some solutions. v. 7

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
318 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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