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Leaving in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems To what extent do you agree or disagree v.1

Leaving in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems v. 1
In recent times, there has been significant advances made in the field of agriculture. Despite this, a lot of people in the world are still plagued by hunger. This essay will discuss the cause of this, and as well suggest the solution to this challenge. Beginning with the reason for this problem, the number of people involved in farming are not enough to meet the need of the universe. This is because, nowadays, the populace prefer white collar jobs. Furthermore, less people go to farm because of the cost of operating one. In a recent survey in India, there has not been any significant increase in the percentage of the population that are farmers in the last 10 years, despite a 50% increase in the occupants. The stiff competition for the limited government employment gives further credence to this. So, the challenge of hunger has persisted worldwide due to the few number of farmers available. However, something can be done about this. More and more males and females need to be encouraged to go into farming. The government has a role to play. Loans should be made accessible to anybody that is interested in owning a farm at a low interest rate. Then, raw materials should be subsidized. For example, agricultural micro finance banks can be created, as this will make more people want to farm. If all these initiatives are in place, more farmers will increase the world's food production, thereby reducing the number of hungry people. Hence, the way to curb this menace is by promoting agricultural practices, thus, increasing people's involvement. In conclusion, while the limited number of farmers have contributed immensely to many people going hungry, programs directed towards raising the numerical strength of farmers will go a long way in dealing with this problem.
In recent times, there has been significant advances made in the field of agriculture. Despite this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the world are
still
plagued by hunger. This essay will discuss the cause of this, and
as well
suggest the solution to this challenge.

Beginning with the reason for this problem, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
involved in farming are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the need of the universe. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, nowadays, the populace prefer white collar jobs.
Furthermore
,
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun people is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to farm
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the cost of operating one. In a recent survey in India, there has not been any significant increase in the percentage of the population that are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
in the last 10 years, despite a 50% increase in the occupants. The stiff competition for the limited
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
employment gives
further
credence to this.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the challenge of hunger has persisted worldwide due to the few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
available.

However
, something can
be done
about this. More and more males and females need to
be encouraged
to go into farming. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has a role to play. Loans should
be made
accessible to anybody that
is interested
in owning a farm at a low interest rate. Then, raw materials should
be subsidized
.
For example
, agricultural micro finance banks can
be created
, as this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to farm. If all these initiatives are in place, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
will increase the world's food production, thereby reducing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of hungry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Hence
, the way to curb this menace is by promoting agricultural practices,
thus
, increasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's involvement.

In conclusion
, while the limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
have contributed
immensely
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
going hungry, programs directed towards raising the numerical strength of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
will go a long way in dealing with this problem.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay Leaving in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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