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learning through online courses is more effective than learning in traditional classroom setting State whether you agree or disagree with the following statement Then explain your reasons using specific details in your explanation v.1

learning through online courses is more effective than learning in traditional classroom setting State whether you agree or disagree with the following statement Then explain your reasons using specific details in your explanation v. 1
Young people are using more and more the internet on a regular basis. Due the fact that it has some certain benefits, this behaviour also has a bad influence on their social development. Considering the significant change in teenagers’ attitude today, I strongly agree with the statement. The internet has already become a part of our daily life, and our children’s activities cannot be separated from it, either. They are attracted to the internet because they can find any answer in less than a minute, and, more than that, it is easier to communicate with others from behind the screen. Moreover, in online communication, you can hide your feelings and create a fake identity. These are some of the most common issues of teenagers in real life, so the internet is their best ally in disguise. For instance, a shy boy could be the best in online video games and he might seem fearful if the others do not know him in person. Also, the communication between girls and boys is much better in a virtual form, because they avoid eye-contact. Virtual socialization can be the first step in growing self-confidence among teenagers. On the other hand, the lack of direct interaction between young people can lead to serious problems later. If they do not develop their social skills at a young age, they will not be able to communicate properly as adults, in their later life. For example, a man, who is too shy when it comes to speak to a woman, will have great difficulties in asking a female colleague to do a task. Teenagers need to interact directly one with each other, face to face, and the internet can have a negative influence on that. In conclusion, young people cannot be isolated from the internet, since they live in a technological era. However, a balance between virtual and real life must be found. I strongly agree with the statement that spending too much time on the internet has bad effects on teenagers, considering that they do not find the equilibrium between virtual and real too easily.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are using more and more the internet on a regular basis.
It appears that a preposition is missing after 'Due'.
Due the
fact that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain benefits, this
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
also
has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence on their social development. Considering the significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers’
attitude
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement.

The internet has already become a part of our daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, and our children’s activities cannot
be separated
from it, either. They
are attracted
to the internet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can find any answer in less than a minute, and, more than that, it is easier to communicate with others from behind the screen.
Moreover
, in online communication, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
your feelings and create a fake identity. These are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of the most common issues of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
in real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the internet is their best ally in disguise.
For instance
, a shy boy could be the best in online video
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
games and
he might seem fearful if the others do not know him in person.
Also
, the communication between girls and boys is much better in a virtual form,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they avoid eye-contact. Virtual socialization can be the
first
step in growing self-confidence among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the lack of direct interaction between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can lead to serious problems later. If they do not develop their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
age, they will not be able to communicate
properly
as adults, in their later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
, who is too shy when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to speak to a woman, will have great difficulties in asking a female colleague to do a task.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teenagers
need to interact
directly
one with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, face to face, and the internet can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence on that.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
cannot
be isolated
from the internet, since they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a technological era.
However
, a balance between virtual and real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be found
. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that spending too much time on the internet has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
, considering that they do not find the equilibrium between virtual and real too
easily
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay learning through online courses is more effective than learning in traditional classroom setting State whether you agree or disagree with the following statement Then explain your reasons using specific details in your explanation v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
349 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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