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Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products? v.8

Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products? v. 8
It is true that consumers are more likely to purchase products from big huge businesses which invest an enormous amount of money in advertising and promotion. Several problems have derived from this tendency and they should be tackled by a number of effective solutions from governments and individuals. As big companies take control over the market, several related problems can be anticipated. The main issue is that local companies such as privately owned businesses may suffer a face loss in sales, putting them at risk of bankruptcy. Since only a small number of people stick with little known brands, it is difficult for them to generate enough revenues let alone make a profit with an aim to cover the running costs such as electricity and taxes as well as remain normal operation. This can further lead to the second issue which is the manipulation of large businesses. Being on the verge of going closure, small companies will sooner be sold to more successful ones, giving rise to unemployment of the locals. Plus, this can negatively affect the national economy. Since those issues are serious, governments and individuals should take steps to deal with this issue. The first solution would be that governments need to raise more taxes on big companies since they are able to generate excessive sales to ensure their existence. The second measure would be to raise funds to support local companies to advertise their products to target customers. For example, they can organize many fairs for local businesses to commercialise their products. Finally, in order to adjust to customers' demands, small businesses need to vary their products on a regular basis so as to compete with big companies, which can gradually help them to regain their influence on consumers. In conclusion, although the dominance of large companies due to marketing and promotion prospects is resulting in many problems for smaller branches of businesses, appropriate actions can be taken to tackle this problem.
It is true that consumers are more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
which invest an enormous amount of money in advertising and promotion. Several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
have derived from this
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
tendency and
they should
be tackled
by a number of effective solutions from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and individuals.

As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
take control over the market, several related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
can
be anticipated
. The main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
such as
privately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
may suffer a face loss in sales, putting them at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of bankruptcy. Since
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
stick with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
known brands, it is difficult for them to generate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
revenues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
alone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a profit with an aim to cover the running costs such as electricity and taxes
as well
as remain normal operation. This can
further
lead to the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
which is the manipulation of large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
. Being on the verge of going closure,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
will sooner
be sold
to more successful ones, giving rise to unemployment of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
. Plus, this can
negatively
affect the national economy.

Since those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
are serious,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and individuals should take steps to deal with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
. The
first
solution would be that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
need to raise more taxes on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
since they are able to generate excessive sales to ensure their existence. The second measure would be to raise funds to support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to advertise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to target customers.
For example
, they can organize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fairs for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'commercialise' is British English.
commercialise
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Finally
, in order to adjust to customers' demands,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
need to vary their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
on a regular basis
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
compete with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, which can
gradually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to regain their influence on consumers.

In conclusion
, although the dominance of large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
due to marketing and promotion prospects is resulting in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
for smaller branches of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
, appropriate actions can
be taken
to tackle this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products? v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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