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Jakarta Local Government has applied the odd-even traffic policy at certain roads and tollgates at certain hours as decided by the authority. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Jakarta Local Government has applied the odd-even traffic policy at certain roads and tollgates at certain hours as decided by the authority. v. 1
Jakarta is one of the most crowded cities over the world and also traffic jam is widely debated in the world. The odd-time service system has been enforced by the Jakarta Local Government to be one of action approaches to solve the traffic jam in the city of Jakarta. I personally agree that the odd-time service system is one of a range of options we should embrace, and I will explain why in this essay. Firstly, we should consider the potential negatives of travel jam is the number of transportation accidents. For instance, most of office worker uses the road in rush hour, which is encouraging people to lose their patience and actually cause the possibility to transport accident, in spite of they drive carefully. Secondly, a further reason to be worried about this idea is there was an enormous number of vehicles in Jakarta, which causes air pollution from the local metropolis. The Local Government issued a policy about the odd-time traffic system at several highways to curtail the traffic jam, and also this policy might reduce the mass of transportation. In reality, they stay away from traffic jam by using public transportation rather than they are fighting and stressing about the road rage. I do appreciate that some people think differently and open-minded, we can see this is another option to reduce the traffic jam. To conclude, I believe that Local Government cares about their surroundings widely, not just for it but also for safety reasons. The Local Government should take decisions that must be implemented by the society in Jakarta town.
Jakarta is one of the most crowded cities over the world and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jam is
widely
debated in the world. The odd-time service system has
been enforced
by the Jakarta
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
to be one of action approaches to solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jam in the city of Jakarta. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the odd-time service system is one of a range of options we should embrace, and I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why in this essay.

Firstly
, we should consider the potential negatives of travel jam is the number of transportation accidents.
For instance
,
Consider using "most office" or "most of the office".
most of office
worker
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
the road in rush hour, which is encouraging
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to lose their patience and actually cause the possibility to transport accident,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
they drive
carefully
.
Secondly
, a
further
reason to
be worried
about this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is there was an enormous number of vehicles in Jakarta, which causes air pollution from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
metropolis. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
issued a policy about the odd-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
system at several highways to curtail the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jam, and
also
this policy might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the mass of transportation. In reality, they stay away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jam by using public transportation
rather
than they are fighting and stressing about the road rage. I do appreciate that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
differently
and open-minded, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
this is another option to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jam.

To conclude
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
cares about their surroundings
widely
, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for safety reasons. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should take decisions that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be implemented
by the society in Jakarta town.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
One who speaks only one language is one person, but one who speaks two languages is two people.
Turkish proverb

IELTS essay Jakarta Local Government has applied the odd-even traffic policy at certain roads and tollgates at certain hours as decided by the authority. v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
264 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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