Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think the best way to stay fit is joining a gym and health club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think the best way to stay fit is joining a gym and health club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. v. 1
Everyone wants to stay healthy and fit, for achieving this goal, we tend to do different things, some of us thinks that, to achieve the desired level of health one must join the gym and there are others who think our daily chores are enough to keep us in good shape. In this essay we are going to discuss this narrative from both perspectives. Joining the gym is the best way of achieving the fitness, A person who joins them are basically making an additional effort to keep their body in shape, they are supposed to be stronger and healthier, even though they are spending extra money for this but it also motivates them to go beyond and helps them in achieving that goal. Health clubs these days are equipped with modern machinery and there are gadgets available to monitor your efforts, all of this inspires people to work hard and achieve their fitness goal. Everyday work keeps you active, but it doesn’t guarantee your health. Even those who went to gym also do their routine works, but they are making an extra effort to stay active. Some jobs are tough like manual labours, we can argue that those can be sufficient but not everyone is doing that. Our daily activities like climbing, walking, running etc. All these do help, but our eating habits cancel out their effects. Our current generation eats a lot of unhealthy things like fast food, for them just some manual exercise is not enough, the additional calories can only be burnt through the gym. So I would incline more towards the people who join fitness clubs because they are working hard for this purpose and trying more to stay healthy.
Everyone wants to stay healthy and fit, for achieving this goal, we tend to do
different
things,
some
of us
thinks
that, to achieve the desired level of health one
must
join
the
gym
and there are others
who
think
our daily chores are
enough
to
keep
us in
good
shape. In this essay we are going to discuss this narrative from both perspectives.

Joining the
gym
is the best way of achieving the fitness, A person
who
joins
them are
basically
making an additional effort to
keep
their body in shape, they
are supposed
to be stronger and healthier,
even though
they are spending extra money for this
but
it
also
motivates them to go beyond and
helps
them in achieving that goal. Health clubs these days
are equipped
with modern machinery and there are gadgets available to monitor your efforts, all of this inspires
people
to work
hard
and achieve their fitness goal.

Everyday work
keeps
you active,
but
it doesn’t guarantee your health. Even those
who
went to
gym
also
do their routine works,
but
they are making an extra effort to stay active.
Some
jobs are tough like manual
labours
, we can argue that those can be sufficient
but
not everyone is doing that. Our daily activities like climbing, walking, running etc. All these do
help
,
but
our eating habits cancel out their effects.

Our
current
generation eats
a lot of
unhealthy things like
fast
food, for them
just
some
manual exercise is not
enough
, the additional calories can
only
be burnt
through the
gym
.
So
I would incline more towards the
people
who
join
fitness clubs
because
they are working
hard
for this purpose and trying more to stay healthy.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think the best way to stay fit is joining a gym and health club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts