Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It's generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for music and sport, and others are not. However, it's sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v.16

It's generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for music and sport, and others are not. However, it's sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v. 16
It is said that ‘nothing is impossible ' in this world. To make every impossible thing possible, lots of hard work, sacrifice, determination, and good health are required. In an exception, some people confront to failure despite performing their duties sincerely. I believe that those unsuccessful people were deprived of inborn talent. Sometimes, it may happen that luck does not favour them. For instance, a highly talented athlete who was preparing for competition breaks his leg. Provided that he had not broken his leg, he would have at least won the bronze medal but luck did not favour him. Furthermore, there was another athlete who never won any medal in his career despite his sincere endeavour. It means that he was not gifted to become a professional athlete. So, it would better if he brings down the curtain as an athlete. On the contrary, there are some people in the world who fail to realise their interest. Certainly, one can have a rewarding career if one's talent is deduced on time. Otherwise, life becomes far worse than expectations. Let's imagine, what will happen if Pele had pursued his career other than football? Surely, other people might have been filled up the shoe as 'a king of football'. But, this did not happen as football passionate Pele transformed gifted talent into a reality. So, natural talent cannot be fostered unless one interests in it. It is the obligation of parents and teacher to motivate, care and assist in making their children's future prosperous. Otherwise, children have to lead the life beyond their acumen and capacity. Neither does it any good to children themselves nor to the parents and the country if the natural talents of a particular field get spoiled. In conclusion, one can learn whatever they are taught but to become the master of it, one should be born with the talent for it.
It
is said
that ‘nothing is impossible
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
'
in this world. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
every impossible thing possible, lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work, sacrifice, determination, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health
are required
. In an exception,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
confront to failure despite performing their duties
sincerely
.

I believe that those unsuccessful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were deprived
of inborn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, it may happen that luck does not
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
them.
For instance
, a
highly
talented athlete who was preparing for competition breaks his leg. Provided that he had not broken his leg, he would have at least won the bronze medal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
luck did not
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
him.
Furthermore
, there was another athlete who never won any medal in his career despite his sincere
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
. It means that he was not gifted to become a professional athlete.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it would
Did you mean "be better"?
better
if he brings down the curtain as an athlete.

On the contrary
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the world who fail to
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
their interest.
Certainly
, one can have a rewarding career if one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
is deduced
on time.
Otherwise
, life becomes far worse than expectations.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's imagine, what will happen if Pele had pursued his career other than football?
Surely
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might have
been filled
up the shoe as 'a king of football'.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, this did not happen as football passionate Pele transformed gifted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
into a reality.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
cannot
be fostered
unless one interests in it.

It is the obligation of parents and teacher to motivate, care and assist in making their children's future prosperous.
Otherwise
, children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
lead the life beyond their acumen and capacity. Neither does it any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to children themselves nor to the parents and the country if the natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
of a particular field
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
spoiled.

In conclusion
, one can learn whatever they
are taught
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to become the master of it, one should
be born
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
for it.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay It's generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for music and sport, and others are not. However, it's sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v. 16

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts