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In many cities crime is increasing. Why do you think this is happening? What can governments do to help reduce crime levels? v.2

In many cities crime is increasing. Why do you think this is happening? What can governments do to help reduce crime levels? v. 2
Crime is a very old phenomenon and no one knows when it actually started. The sad fact is that crime rate is increasing including killing, stealing, robbing, kidnapping, rape… etc. Actually, there are many reasons for that awful and miserable phenomenon. Some people always look at other peoples' properties and not pleased with what they have. And that, of course, leads to hatred and then lead to misdeeds. Moreover, some people are psychiatric disordered and which in turn leads to violence. Another thing that we should take care of is the lack of necessary money; many criminals would not have become criminals if they had had enough money and other daily needs for themselves and their families. In a recent study about crimes and their reasons, professor Kathy Mac James said that 85% gangsters joined gangs due to the shortage of social welfare. She protested that this majority of gangsters were either orphan who didn't get enough care during childhood and adolescence or not married. Now it is the time to raise an important question: ‘do all the previous reasons give you the right to be a criminal? The
Crime is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
phenomenon and no one knows when it actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
. The sad fact is that crime rate is increasing including killing, stealing, robbing, kidnapping, rape… etc. Actually, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons for that awful and miserable phenomenon.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
always look at other peoples' properties and not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
pleased
with what they have. And that,
of course
, leads to hatred and then lead to misdeeds.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are psychiatric disordered and which in turn leads to violence. Another thing that we should take care of is the lack of necessary money;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
criminals would not have become criminals if they had had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money and other daily needs for themselves and their families. In a recent study about crimes and their reasons, professor Kathy Mac James said that 85% gangsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
gangs due to the shortage of social welfare. She protested that this majority of gangsters were either orphan who didn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
care during childhood and adolescence or not married.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
it is the time to raise an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
question: ‘do all the previous reasons give you the right to be a criminal? The
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay In many cities crime is increasing. Why do you think this is happening? What can governments do to help reduce crime levels? v. 2

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
188 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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