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It's generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for music and sport, and others are not. However, it's sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v.15

It's generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for music and sport, and others are not. However, it's sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v. 15
'Talent' as defined by many scientists, is a gift and inherent ability that enables someone to be special than others in a particular area, while many people believe in that others argue that talent could be achieved, learnt or could be gained with practice. I agree that talent is a gift but could be strayed without continuous practice. On one hand, the proof of that talent or being good in certain aspect is something came spontaneously as many famous talented celebrities, whether they are a musician or professional sportsmen, never had any teaching or any special teaching when they were young. Moreover, many of them were raised in a poor environment with very limited resources, in contrast, there are many sports teams which had a huge budget for the best training facilities and they are still losing whereby the team with low budget and even poor training sessions are winning! If talent had nothing to do with our success, then rich students with better facilities would always have performed better than the poor students who study all by themselves. If practice could have done everything, we would definitely have many Einstein, Leonardo da Vinci, Newton, Pele and Shakespeare in every country. The reality is, they are born with talents and their dedication makes them unique. On the other side talent alone is not enough without practice and hard work. The talented persons need to replenish his/her talent every now and then and try to improve it with practice and learning. The personality like Leonardo da Vinci and Einstein have not achieved their success without sacrifice and hard work. Many famous and talented singers and famous musicians make hours of daily certain voice exercise for their vocal cords for maintaining the nice voice quality they have and get the maximum benefit of his talent for his community. Furthermore, the government and community associations should contribute in discovering new talents and promote it, facilitate the training for talented persons and sponsor them from their youngest age and make them stars. In conclusion, talents always play a key role in our success but self-development, commitments, hard work and tender care are also required to maintain the inherent talent and through practice, we can make impossible into possible.
'Talent' as defined by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
scientists, is a gift and inherent ability that enables someone to be
Use "(special)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
special
than others in a particular area, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe in that others argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
could
be achieved
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
or could
be gained
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
is a gift
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
could
be strayed
without continuous practice.

On one hand, the proof of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
or being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in certain aspect is something came
spontaneously
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talented
celebrities, whether they are a musician or professional sportsmen, never had any teaching or any special teaching when they were young.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them
were raised
in a poor environment with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
limited resources,
in contrast
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sports teams which had a huge budget for the best training
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
facilities and
they are
still
losing whereby the team with low budget and even poor training sessions are winning! If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
had nothing to do with our success, then rich students with better facilities would always have performed better than the poor students who study all by themselves. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
could have done everything, we would definitely have
Possible agreement error. The noun Einstein seems to be countable; consider using: "many Einsteins".
many Einstein
, Leonardo da Vinci, Newton, Pele and Shakespeare in every country. The reality is, they
are born
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
and their dedication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them unique.

On the other side
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
alone is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talented
persons need to replenish his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and then and try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
it with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
and learning. The personality like Leonardo da Vinci and Einstein have not achieved their success without sacrifice and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talented
singers and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
musicians
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
hours of daily certain voice exercise for their vocal cords for maintaining the nice voice quality they have and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the maximum benefit of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
for his community.
Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and community associations should contribute in discovering new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
and promote it, facilitate the training for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talented
persons and sponsor them from their youngest age and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them stars.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
always play a key role in our success
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
self-development, commitments,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and tender care are
also
required to maintain the inherent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
and through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
, we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
impossible into possible.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay It's generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for music and sport, and others are not. However, it's sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v. 15

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
374 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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