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It's generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for music and sport, and others are not. However, it's sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v.14

It's generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for music and sport, and others are not. However, it's sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v. 14
People have differing opinions as to what makes a high achiever. Some believe that a person has got to possess certain innate traits to become an excellent performer while the other school of thought is that anyone can become an excellent performer if being taught in a right way. I tend to gravitate towards the latter school of thought. Firstly, we have to admit that in certain realms in life, to achieve greatness, you have got to have the right genetics, to illustrate; a shorter person will always be at a disadvantage against a taller person in basketball. Secondly, many children display phenomenal qualities at sports and music that it wouldn’t be irrational to believe that they were born with these characteristics, enabling them to excel in their chosen fields. However, I strongly believe that talent is massively overhyped in our culture. If we examine the lives of top performers in any field such as Tiger Woods in Golf or Mozart in music, we would realise that these people didn’t have any inborn attributes that we normally associate with geniuses. What in fact happens is that such people normally are exposed to the areas that they would grow up to excel in, later in their lives, from a very tender age. There is indeed no such thing as a child prodigy which is evident from biographies of almost all of highly recognised top performers. In addition, these people spend a painstaking amount of time perfecting their acts whether be it symphonies or a particular kind of move in sports. To conclude, in spite of the fact that most people believe that talent is inborn, I beg to differ with this notion and believe that as long as the trait in question is not purely physical, like height, any child or person can become a top performer in their chosen domain with enough time spent in practice.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have differing opinions as to what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a high achiever.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
to possess certain innate traits to become an excellent performer while the other school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
is that anyone can become an excellent performer if
being taught
Consider replacing "in a right way" with the adverb for "right"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a right way
. I tend to gravitate towards the latter school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
.

Firstly
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
admit that in certain realms in life, to achieve greatness, you have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
to have the right genetics, to illustrate; a shorter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
will always be at a disadvantage against a taller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
in basketball.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children display phenomenal qualities at sports and music that it wouldn’t be irrational to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that they
were born
with these characteristics, enabling them to excel in their chosen fields.

However
, I
strongly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that talent is
massively
Possible spelling mistake found.
overhyped
in our culture. If we examine the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of top performers in any field such as Tiger Woods in Golf or Mozart in music, we would
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
didn’t have any inborn attributes that we
normally
associate with geniuses. What in fact happens is that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
normally
are exposed
to the areas that they would grow up to excel in, later in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
tender age. There is
indeed
no such thing as a child prodigy which is evident from biographies of almost all of
highly
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
top performers.
In addition
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend a painstaking amount of time perfecting their acts whether be it symphonies or a particular kind of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
in sports.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the fact that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that talent is inborn, I beg to differ with this notion and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that as long as the trait in question is not
purely
physical, like height, any child or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can become a top performer in their chosen domain with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time spent in practice.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay It's generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for music and sport, and others are not. However, it's sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v. 14

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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