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It's generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for music and sport, and others are not. However, it's sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v.13

It's generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for music and sport, and others are not. However, it's sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v. 13
The statement states the old discussion of the role of nature and nurture. The first group believes that the innate capacities, inherited genes, or born talent play a key role in the professions like sports and performing arts such as music. It’s true that there are people who born with certain talents can perform exceptionally well in their fields. It’s also a general belief that musicians and artists are born with the ability of music and arts or sports. The other groups of people have confidence in the learning. For them, any talent can be acquired be it a music or sports and any person can achieve anything through hard work and determination. They believe that the man is an architect of his own fate. In my opinion, I support the second statement, though no one can rule out the role of natural talents. A person can be born with good voice tone and quality but he cannot achieve harmony, scale and rhythm without learning. And beyond one’s primitive ability, every innate talent is basic in nature and for its development, it requires encouragement and teaching. The consistency and hard work can then make you perfect. The poets and writers, though born with the talent, do not let out their work before making it perfect through several alterations. For example, William Wordsworth, the famous poet, revised and amended his poem daffodils. As it is said, “draft while drunk, but revise when sober. ” On the whole, innate abilities do provide an aptitude for art and sports but success and perfection require trial and error method.
The statement states the
old
discussion of the role of nature and nurture. The
first
group believes that the innate capacities, inherited genes, or born
talent
play a key role in the professions like sports and performing arts such as music. It’s true that there are
people
who born with certain
talents
can perform
exceptionally
well in their fields. It’s
also
a general belief that musicians and artists
are born
with the ability of music and arts or sports.

The other groups of
people
have confidence in the learning. For them, any
talent
can
be acquired
be it a music or sports and any person can achieve anything through
hard
work and determination. They believe that the
man
is an architect of his
own
fate.

In my opinion, I support the second statement, though no one can
rule
out the role of natural
talents
. A person can
be born
with
good
voice tone and quality
but
he cannot achieve harmony, scale and rhythm without learning. And beyond one’s primitive ability, every innate
talent
is basic in nature and for its development, it requires encouragement and teaching. The consistency and
hard
work can then
make
you perfect. The poets and writers, though born with the
talent
, do not
let
out their work
before
making it perfect through several alterations.
For example
, William Wordsworth, the
famous
poet, revised and amended his poem daffodils. As it
is said
, “draft while drunk,
but
revise when sober. ”

On the whole
, innate abilities do provide an aptitude for art and sports
but
success and perfection require trial and error method.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay It's generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for music and sport, and others are not. However, it's sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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