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It should be the environment rather than economic development for the government to focus on. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

It should be the environment rather than economic development for the government to focus on. v. 1
Undoubtedly, at this present time, one add form at one company has a plethora of other adverts that make buyers intricate about the product. Firstly, this essay will 100% concur with the above nation as it is an innate quality of a human to have attracted towards something new and secondly, discuss how government support could be beneficial to tackle this issue. On the one hand, when a company introduces a new advertiser with latest modernization effect, youngsters are more attracted to it as it has become their natural habit. This action would be harmful and dangerous for them as they are not mature enough to curb it. For example, as per the USA media department, 70% of the American teenagers are influenced to attempt an unlawful activity by encouraging through diverting advertisements. On the other side, this issue primarily curbs with the support of government. To elaborate, the Government should enforce the law that restricts the enhancing companies to introduce a various new ads that mostly affects the adolescence, such as fine on making false ads or unhygienic advertisements and so on. For instance, according to the authority of the UK, 80% of the company has to go through the various steps before launching the new advertisements for civilian safety. Conclusion, advertisement is indeed entertaining folks in several ways. However, its negative effect specially on an adult cannot be negotiated, as they are our future and to solve this both individual and the regime should work together as a team.
Undoubtedly
, at this present time, one
add
form at one
company
has a plethora of other adverts that
make
buyers intricate about the product.
Firstly
, this essay will 100% concur with the above nation as it is an innate quality of a human to have attracted towards something
new
and
secondly
, discuss how
government
support could be beneficial to tackle this issue.

On the one hand, when a
company
introduces a
new
advertiser with
latest
modernization effect, youngsters are more attracted to it as it has become their natural habit. This action would be harmful and
dangerous
for them as they are not mature
enough
to curb it.
For example
, as per the USA media department, 70% of the American
teenagers
are influenced
to attempt an unlawful activity by encouraging through diverting advertisements.

On the other side, this issue
primarily
curbs with the support of
government
. To elaborate, the
Government
should enforce the law that restricts the enhancing
companies
to introduce a various
new
ads
that
mostly
affects the adolescence, such as fine on making false ads or unhygienic advertisements and
so
on.
For instance
, according to the authority of the UK, 80% of the
company
has to
go through the various steps
before
launching the
new
advertisements for civilian safety.

Conclusion, advertisement is
indeed
entertaining folks in several ways.
However
, its
negative
effect
specially
on an adult cannot
be negotiated
, as they are our future and to solve this both individual and the regime should work together as a team.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It should be the environment rather than economic development for the government to focus on. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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