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Advanced medical treatments are generally expensive. People’s access to proper health care should not depend upon their level of income. All people have the right to access the best medicine available. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.3

Advanced medical treatments are generally expensive. People’s access to proper health care should not depend upon their level of income. All people have the right to access the best medicine available. with this opinion? v. 3
In current society, the health service is undeniably becoming more and more modern with up-to-date equipments and superior conditions, which is the cause of its high value. Every resident is worth being treated the best healthcare and medicine accessible, nevertheless, people in lower classes are not affordable to pay for expensive medical bills. To a certain extent, I think every citizen has the right to approach advanced medical assistance without any concern for their properties. Nowadays, with the help of bio-technology and genetic engineering, hospitals now have been upgraded several modern treatment methods, which makes the medical sector to become much costlier than ever before. It can be seen that the major patients of these advance treatments are high-class people and hardly approach to low and medium class. However, I think everybody has the same right to get the best quality in medical treatments. The first reason would be that residents have paid taxes so the governments should take responsibilities to give the best service to protect their citizens’ life. With these benefits, as a result, people will be eager for paying taxes, which bring variable profits and privileges to their future living conditions. Additionally, the medical ethics of doctors do not allow them to discriminate their patients while taking treatments, also, their top mission is to try their best to save patients’ lives. Moreover, low-income populations, particularly take more serious diseases due to their deprivation of shelter, finance, knowledgeable healthcare information and access to health services. To take the Africa for example, it is reported that approximately 50% of African population does not have regular access to medical treatments mostly due to their poor financial status, which is one of the contributing factors of inaccessibility to a good healthcare system. The argument in favour of everybody should be accessible to advanced medical treatments which means that the governments are responsible for their medical bills. However, for some reasons, there are some factors that we must consider. First and foremost, the governments have to undertake many weighty tasks and national matters such as education, politics or the environment; nevertheless, advancements in medical technology waste so much money that they may not sponsor this huge financial investment to their citizens. Furthermore, some residents have abused of authority and not take care about themselves because of their privileges given, which is free check-up and medicine. It would be a prejudiced opinion to blame the government for the lack of advanced medical service if a part of residents do take advantage on their subsidization. To sum up, the appropriate medicine and equal treatments should be taken without any concern about patients’ properties so as to develop and balance the society. I think that the government should raise funds, help poor households get access to advanced healthcare and encourage citizens to pay for their own health insurances.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
society, the health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
is
undeniably
becoming more and more modern with up-to-date equipments and superior conditions, which is the cause of its high value. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resident
is worth
being treated
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
healthcare and medicine accessible,
nevertheless
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in lower classes are not affordable to pay for expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
bills. To a certain extent, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizen
has the right to approach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
assistance without any concern for their properties.

Nowadays, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of bio-technology and genetic engineering, hospitals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have
been upgraded
several modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
methods, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
sector to become much costlier than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
of these advance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
are high-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and hardly approach to low and medium
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
everybody has the same right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
quality in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
. The
first
reason would be that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
have paid taxes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should take responsibilities to give the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
to protect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens’
life. With these benefits,
as a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will be eager for paying taxes, which bring variable profits and privileges to their future living conditions.
Additionally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
ethics of doctors do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to discriminate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
while taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
,
also
, their top mission is to try their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Moreover
, low-income populations,
particularly
take more serious diseases due to their deprivation of shelter, finance, knowledgeable healthcare information and access to health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
. To take the Africa
for example
, it
is reported
that approximately 50% of African population does not have regular access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
mostly
due to their poor financial status, which is one of the contributing factors of inaccessibility to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
healthcare system.

The argument in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of everybody should be accessible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
which means that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are responsible for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
bills.
However
, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
factors that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
consider.
First
and foremost, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
undertake
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
weighty tasks and national matters such as education, politics or the environment;
nevertheless
, advancements in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
technology waste
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much money that they may not sponsor this huge financial investment to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
have abused of authority and not take care about themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their privileges
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
, which is free
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
-up and medicine. It would be a prejudiced opinion to blame the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
for the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
if a part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
do take advantage on their subsidization.

To sum up, the appropriate medicine and equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
should
be taken
without any concern about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients’
properties
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
develop and balance the society. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should raise funds,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
poor households
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advanced
healthcare and encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
to pay for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
health insurances.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Advanced medical treatments are generally expensive. People’s access to proper health care should not depend upon their level of income. All people have the right to access the best medicine available. with this opinion? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
473 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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