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It seems clear that obesity in today’s society is to some extent due to theavailability of fast food. Should governments place a tax on fast food to reducethe amount of fast food consumed? v.2

It seems clear that obesity in today’s society is to some extent due to theavailability of fast food. Should governments place a tax on fast food to reducethe amount of fast food consumed? v. 2
Fastfood availability has made overweight a common problem in today' s modern world. In order to reduce the consumption of fast food, some people argue that the government should impose the tax. I completely agree with this and will further discuss the need for tax imposal. To begin with, fast food causes a lot of health problems due to various reasons. Firstly, it contains huge amount of sugars, lipids and oil, which eventually leads to obesity and cardiac diseases. Moreover, these days, parents due to their hectic schedule are making their kids eat this junk food. This will, in tur, lead to health issues at a very young age in the children. However, this problem can be solved by implementing certain measures. Although fast foods are harmful to our health, certain precautions can be taken. Firstly, the government should impose heavy taxes on the sellers and in addition, healthy food should be made available to the people in the place of this junk food. It should provide emphasis on the restaurants that serve healthy diet. People should also be made aware of the consequences they face by consuming unhealthy food, by media campaigning. Furthermore, parents should educate their children on the ill effects of eating those oily foods and also should spare some of their time in cooking for their children, despite their busy life. To summarize, the government need to impose heavy taxes on the people selling junk food and also should emphasize the people on the harmful effects of cosuming junk food.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fastfood
availability has made overweight a common problem in
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s modern world. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the consumption of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should impose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this and will
further
discuss the need for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
Possible spelling mistake found.
imposal
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
health problems due to various reasons.
Firstly
, it contains huge amount of sugars, lipids and oil, which
eventually
leads to obesity and cardiac diseases.
Moreover
, these days, parents due to their hectic schedule are making their kids eat this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. This will, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
tur
, lead to health issues at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age in the children.
However
, this problem can
be solved
by implementing certain measures.

Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are harmful to our health, certain precautions can
be taken
.
Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should impose heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
on the sellers and
in addition
, healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
should
be made
available to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the place of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. It should provide emphasis on the restaurants that serve healthy diet.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should
also
be made
aware of the consequences they face by consuming unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, by media campaigning.
Furthermore
, parents should educate their children on the ill effects of eating those oily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and
also
should spare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of their time in cooking for their children, despite their busy life.

To summarize
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
need to impose heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
selling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
also
should emphasize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on the harmful effects of
Possible spelling mistake found.
cosuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay It seems clear that obesity in today’s society is to some extent due to theavailability of fast food. Should governments place a tax on fast food to reducethe amount of fast food consumed? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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