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It seems clear that obesity in today's society is to some extent due to the availability of fast food. Should governments place a tax on fast food to reduce the amount of fast food consumed? v.2

It seems clear that obesity in today's society is to some extent due to the availability of fast food. Should governments place a tax on fast food to reduce the amount of fast food consumed? v. 2
Easy availability of junk food has increased the number of couch potatoes in many countries. Obesity has become a serious health concern for almost entire world wherein levying taxes on fast food is counted as a highly effective measure for the prevailing problem. However, I believe there are many other effective measures can be taken in order to curb the trend and to grow healthy society. To begin with, fast foods are consumed by affluent class who never cares about the cost of the food. For example, visiting Mcdonald or Pizza Hut has become a status symbol nowadays. Needless to say, increase in taxes on this food will have a trivial effect on the consumption rate by the wealthy families. Moreover, there is another class of people like students and professionals, who are living away from their home and family, are eating this food due to its cheaper cost and easy access. Increase in the price of a handy food due to extra taxes may disturb their budget but not the consumption rate. Conversely, Taking fewer effective measures in creating awareness about the chronical detrimental effects of fast food on the health can bear the fruits. To exemplify, driving an awareness camp in schools and colleges for guiding parents and students together about the consequences of unhealthy foods and suggesting healthy eating habits etc can serve the purpose. Finally, supplying subsidized and hygienic traditional food to the students and officials by institutions and organizations respectively can help in reversing the trend. To sum up, fast food has been declared as a visible culprit behind an epidemic of obesity among citizens which can be obsolete only through supplying education and cultivating of healthy eating habits.
Easy availability of junk
food
has increased the number of couch potatoes in
many
countries. Obesity has become a serious health concern for almost entire world wherein levying taxes on
fast
food
is counted
as a
highly
effective measure for the prevailing problem.
However
, I believe there are
many
other effective measures can
be taken
in order to curb the trend and to grow healthy society.

To
begin
with,
fast
foods
are consumed
by affluent
class
who never cares about the cost of the
food
.
For example
, visiting
Mcdonald
or Pizza Hut has become a status symbol nowadays. Needless to say, increase in taxes on this
food
will have a trivial effect on the consumption rate by the wealthy families.
Moreover
, there is another
class
of
people
like students and professionals, who are living away from their home and family, are eating this
food
due to its cheaper cost and easy access. Increase in the price of a handy
food
due to extra taxes may disturb their budget
but
not the consumption rate.

Conversely
, Taking fewer effective measures in creating awareness about the
chronical
detrimental effects of
fast
food
on the health can bear the fruits. To exemplify, driving an awareness camp in schools and colleges for guiding parents and students together about the consequences of unhealthy
foods
and suggesting healthy eating habits etc can serve the purpose.
Finally
, supplying subsidized and hygienic traditional
food
to the students and officials by institutions and organizations
respectively
can
help
in reversing the trend.

To sum up,
fast
food
has
been declared
as a visible culprit behind an epidemic of obesity among citizens which can be obsolete
only
through supplying education and cultivating of healthy eating habits.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay It seems clear that obesity in today's society is to some extent due to the availability of fast food. Should governments place a tax on fast food to reduce the amount of fast food consumed? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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