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Do you feel that it is good idea for governments to place a restriction on the number of children a family can have in order to control rising population numbers v.2

Do you feel that it is good idea for governments to place a restriction on the number of children a family can have in order to control rising population numbers v. 2
Looking into the recent figures of world census, it becomes a highly debatable question if the responsibility of curbing the population lien on a shoulder of government. Many adepts believe that government intervention only is the effective solution to this complex issue. Thus, I strongly believe that government should decide the number of children per family in favor of robust economy and bright future of the nation. First and foremost, when citizens forget their responsibility towards the family and nation, a government has to take stern steps to streamline the situations because ultimately governments are held responsible for facilitating their citizens. To illustrate, in India, we do not have any strict rules on controlling child birth rate but when the question raised on increased inflation, education cost and other sustenance, public use to curse the government. Hence, a government should don a right to amend a regulation on limiting the number of kids per parents. Moreover, a healthy youth is the base of bright future of any country. however, the higher birth rate may result in poor health of children due to the lack of enough supplement. For example, countries like Brazil, Ghana, and Bangladesh, kids are affected by malnutrition due to the inadequate supply of food. More to it, providing the better education, cheaper medication and regular employment to this future generation is also the responsibility of government. Conversely, while the family has to decide how many children they can afford to raise, the pre-declared ratio of childbirth per family will help to follow the rule in sustaining the economy of family and nation. To exemplify, regulation like taxes on having more than two children can enforce family to limit their family in order to provide a better lifestyle. Moreover, there are arguments of educating the people about the benefits of population control in place of imposing stern rules. But, the countries where the literacy ratio is very low, people fail to understand the discourse on population control. To sum up, when the birth rates are affecting the growth of nation and existence of human being, I strongly recommend addressing the issue by structuring rules and regulations.
Looking into the recent figures of world census, it becomes a
highly
debatable question if the responsibility of curbing the population lien on a shoulder of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
adepts believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
intervention
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
is the effective solution to this complex issue.
Thus
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should decide the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in favor of robust economy and bright future of the nation.

First
and foremost, when citizens forget their responsibility towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and nation, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
take stern steps to streamline the situations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
ultimately
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are held
responsible for facilitating their citizens. To illustrate, in India, we do not have any strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
on controlling child birth rate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when the question raised on increased inflation, education cost and other sustenance, public
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
curse the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
Hence
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should don a right to amend a regulation on limiting the number of kids per parents.
Moreover
, a healthy youth is the base of bright future of any country.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, the higher birth rate may result in poor health of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
due to the lack of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
supplement.
For example
, countries like Brazil, Ghana, and Bangladesh, kids are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by malnutrition due to the inadequate supply of food. More to it, providing the better education, cheaper medication and regular employment to this future generation is
also
the responsibility of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

Conversely
, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
decide how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
they can afford to raise, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-declared
ratio of childbirth per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rule
in sustaining the economy of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and nation. To exemplify, regulation like taxes on having more than two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can enforce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to limit their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in order to provide a better lifestyle.
Moreover
, there are arguments of educating the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about the benefits of population control in place of imposing stern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, the countries where the literacy ratio is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
fail to understand the discourse on population control.

To sum up, when the birth rates are affecting the growth of nation and existence of human being, I
strongly
recommend addressing the issue by structuring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and regulations.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Do you feel that it is good idea for governments to place a restriction on the number of children a family can have in order to control rising population numbers v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
358 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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