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Nowadays many young people are often spending their free time in a shopping center. This has a negative effect on the youth and the society to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion and relevant examples. v.2

Nowadays many young people are often spending their free time in a shopping center. This has a negative effect on the youth and the society with this statement? Give your opinion and relevant examples. v. 2
Surveys depict that spending free time in shopping center has emerged as a favorite leisure activity among the youngster. I found this development as a negative influence which could have many adverse consequences on a life of youth and a culture of society. Firstly, teenagers can easily be susceptible during this period of age. They follow any trend blindly which can end up in a loss of their valuable time. For example, young ones follow friends and spend their time behind gossiping, gaming, and shopping as an excuse of refreshing for a while. Moreover, they waste the hard earned money of their parents behind unnecessary expenses like clothing and grooming. Actually, during the education period of life, they do not require to follow fashion which can detach them from their sole objective of acquiring education. Lastly, to escape from the scolding of the parents on their misleading, children start telling lie about their whereabouts. Developing a habit of lying can sometimes catch them unavoidable circumstances that can cost high in future. On the other hand, youth argues about their right of choosing a leisure activity to get relax from the pressure of studies. However, exploring hobbies can be the best solution rather ruining time behind mall culture. For instance, learning music, swimming or painting will not only help them to take a break from studies but also help in developing new skills. More to it, in this irresponsible environment of a shopping center, youngsters can be trapped into the bad habits like smoking, drinking, and drugging which can ruin generation and society as a whole. To sum up, rather involving in activities like shopping and gossiping which cannot ripe a fruit, I strongly believe that youth should devote their valuable time in designing career and expanding the horizon of knowledge.
Surveys depict that spending free
time
in
shopping
center has emerged as a favorite leisure activity among the youngster. I found this development as a
negative
influence which could have
many
adverse consequences on a life of youth and a culture of society.

Firstly
,
teenagers
can
easily
be susceptible during this period of age. They follow any trend
blindly
which can
end
up in a loss of their valuable
time
.
For example
, young ones follow friends and spend their
time
behind gossiping, gaming, and
shopping
as an excuse of refreshing for a while.
Moreover
, they waste the
hard earned
money of their parents behind unnecessary expenses like clothing and grooming. Actually, during the education period of life, they do not require
to follow
fashion which can detach them from their sole objective of acquiring education.
Lastly
, to escape from the scolding of the parents on their misleading, children
start
telling lie about their whereabouts. Developing a habit of lying can
sometimes
catch them unavoidable circumstances that can cost high
in future
.

On the other hand
, youth argues about their right of choosing a leisure activity to
get
relax from the pressure of studies.
However
, exploring hobbies can be the best solution
rather
ruining
time
behind mall culture.
For instance
, learning music, swimming or painting will not
only
help
them to take a break from studies
but
also
help
in developing new
skills
. More to it, in this irresponsible environment of a
shopping
center, youngsters can
be trapped
into the
bad
habits like smoking, drinking, and drugging which can ruin generation and society as a whole.

To sum up,
rather
involving in activities like
shopping
and gossiping which cannot ripe a fruit, I
strongly
believe that youth should devote their valuable
time
in designing career and expanding the horizon of knowledge.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Nowadays many young people are often spending their free time in a shopping center. This has a negative effect on the youth and the society with this statement? Give your opinion and relevant examples. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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