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It is wiser to use your money to gain meaningful experiences than to use it to acquire possessions. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

It is wiser to use your money to gain meaningful experiences than to use it to acquire possessions. v. 2
Many people choose to spend money on tangible things such as new clothes, the latest cell phone, or a new bicycle. Of course some of these items are necessities and should be prioritized. However, I would argue that many people waste money collecting things. The best use of extra money is creating memorable experiences. When I am old and look back on what I enjoyed about my life, I am confident that I will be much more nostalgic about the experiences I’ve had than the things that I’ve owned. This is because major life events--weddings, graduations, family gatherings, and conquering significant challenges--help to define who we are and what is unique about our lives. Most things we buy grow old, break, or go out of fashion, but memories remain as long as we can recall them. Therefore, if the choice is between buying a nice car, or taking a memorable family vacation, I believe the answer is clear; experiences create precious memories, while a car depreciates in value the day you drive it off the lot. Additionally, experiences can lead to growth in a way that purchasing things cannot. When I was in college, I used my savings to pay for a summer abroad in the Dominican Republic. I could have bought a lot of nice things with the money I used for tuition, travel, and lodging that summer, but I never regretted the choice. During my time abroad, I navigated a new country while using a new language. It was not an easy time, but it was very rewarding. The experience shaped me in important ways. Indeed, I have never owned a physical object that had such a profound effect on my life as the summer I spent in the Dominican Republic. People should spend money wisely. It would not be smart to go on an unaffordable vacation, or to take out a huge loan to pay for a wedding. Nevertheless, when choosing between spending extra money on things or on creating memories and experiences, I believe the latter is the wisest choice. In the end, it is our memories that hold the most enduring value.
Many
people
choose to spend
money
on tangible things such as
new
clothes, the latest cell phone, or a
new
bicycle.
Of course
some
of these items are necessities and should
be prioritized
.
However
, I would argue that
many
people
waste
money
collecting things. The best
use
of extra
money
is creating memorable experiences.

When I am
old
and look back on what I enjoyed about my life, I am confident that I will be much more nostalgic about the
experiences
I’ve had than the things that I’ve
owned
. This is
because
major life
events
--weddings, graduations, family gatherings, and conquering significant challenges--
help
to define who we are and what is unique about our
lives
. Most things we
buy
grow
old
, break, or go out of fashion,
but
memories
remain as long as we can recall them.
Therefore
, if the choice is between buying a nice car, or taking a memorable family vacation, I believe the answer is
clear
;
experiences
create precious
memories
, while a car depreciates in value the day you drive it off the lot.

Additionally
,
experiences
can lead to growth in a way that purchasing things cannot. When I was in college, I
used
my savings to pay for a summer abroad in the Dominican Republic. I could have
bought
a lot of
nice things with the
money
I
used
for tuition, travel, and lodging that summer,
but
I never regretted the choice. During my time abroad, I navigated a
new
country while using a
new
language. It was not an easy time,
but
it was
very
rewarding. The
experience
shaped me in
important
ways.
Indeed
, I have never
owned
a physical object that had such a profound effect on my life as the summer I spent in the Dominican Republic.

People
should spend
money
wisely
. It would not be smart to go on an unaffordable vacation, or to take out a huge loan to pay for a wedding.
Nevertheless
, when choosing between spending extra
money
on things or on creating
memories
and
experiences
, I believe the latter is the wisest choice. In the
end
, it is our
memories
that hold the most enduring value.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay It is wiser to use your money to gain meaningful experiences than to use it to acquire possessions. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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