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It is too expensive to look after and repair old buildings This money should be spent on building modern buildings instead To what extent do you agree or disagree v.2

It is too expensive to look after and repair old buildings This money should be spent on building modern buildings instead v. 2
It has been a matter of intense debate for quite some time now as to what should be done with the old building. It is asserted by some people that maintenance of ancient and historical buildings requires a huge amount of money hence, instead of wasting that money on outdated building new should be constructed. In my opinion, the old buildings should be preserved and maintained. There are a lot of benefits to preserving old historical art and ancient history. To begin with, first and foremost it, they signify the magnificent history and culture of ancient society. For instance, the Ajanta and Ellora cave of India is the biggest example of the preservation of historical culture. These ancient monuments also help in boosting tourism in the region hence, it is required to maintain them in a proper manner so they might not lose their busy. Secondly, they create lots of employment opportunities for local and other which means that they help in the eradication of the most prevailing problem that is unemployment. Therefore, if there would be better employment opportunities then people can easily participate in the economic growth of the country. The other advantages of saving these old buildings are they can be used for other purposes if cannot be utilized as a tourist place. For instance, the king palace of Faridkot has been converted into a big hospital, the Umedh Bhawan in Rajasthan has been transformed as the hotel which helps in generating revenue for the state government. Hence, they generate double revenue that their maintenance cost. To conclude, preservation of the historical building not only enhance the tourism of the country but also help in generating employment and also accelerate economic growth.
It has been a matter of intense debate for quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
as to what should
be done
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
. It
is asserted
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that maintenance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
requires a huge amount of money
hence
,
instead
of wasting that money on outdated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
new should
be constructed
. In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
should
be preserved
and maintained.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits to preserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
art and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
history. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
first
and foremost it, they signify the magnificent history and culture of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
society.
For instance
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ajanta
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ellora
cave of India is the biggest example of the preservation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
culture. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
monuments
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in boosting tourism in the region
hence
, it
is required
to maintain them
Consider replacing "in a proper manner" with the adverb for "proper"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a proper manner
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they might not lose their busy.
Secondly
, they create lots of employment opportunities for local and other which means that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in the eradication of the most prevailing problem
that is
unemployment.
Therefore
, if there would be better employment opportunities then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
easily
participate in the economic growth of the country.

The other advantages of saving these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are they can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for other purposes if cannot
be utilized
as a tourist place.
For instance
, the king palace of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Faridkot
has
been converted
into a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
hospital, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Umedh
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bhawan
in Rajasthan has
been transformed
as the hotel which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in generating revenue for the state
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
Hence
, they generate double revenue that their maintenance cost.

To conclude
, preservation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
enhance the tourism of the country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in generating employment and
also
accelerate economic growth.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay It is too expensive to look after and repair old buildings This money should be spent on building modern buildings instead v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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