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It has become easier and more affordable for people to travel to other countries Do you think it is a positive or a negative development Give your opinion and relevant examples from your experience v.2

It has become easier and more affordable for people to travel to other countries Do you think it is a positive or a negative development Give your opinion and relevant examples from your experience v. 2
For the last decade travelling abroad has become more feasible due significant changes in the migration systems of many countries. People have much more possibilities to go to other countries for studying, working or just travelling. I think that these opportunities have more advantages than disadvantages and governments of different countries should encourage voyagers to visit their country. To begin with, travelling abroad is essential part of our life. It allows learning new languages, traditions and customs of a variety of nations. People who spend much time in travels are less likely to fall into depression, more benevolent and outgoing. As a result, they are usually successful in career, family lives and many other aspects. To give a clear example, the famous rock-singer Ozzy Osbourne has spent a biggest part of his life touring with his own band. However, his way of life is obviously not the best. Previously, he has been struggling with alcoholic addiction for many times, but in spite of this, he feels himself excellent. The reason for that is indisputably long time travelling, which he is going through every year. The second benefit of travel to other countries is a possibility to get a work experience with international companies. When it goes about people who live in the Third World countries, it is their chance to immigrate to a high-developed country and be the part of its development. Thus, Indian international company “Arsellor Mital” invited roughly 1000 employees to its filial in Germany in the fall of 2014. The prospective youth obtained an excellent opportunity to work in one of the high-developed European countries. On the other hand, there is one disadvantages of this tendency. It is an extremely high possibility for terrorists to enter to another country under cover of tourist or worker. But, in my opinion, this obstacle could be resolved by improving surveillance in airports and military system in general. In conclusion, I strongly believe that travelling to other countries mostly benefits our society and creates more opportunities for the working class and students.
For the last decade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
abroad has become more feasible due significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the migration systems of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have much more possibilities to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for studying, working or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that these opportunities have more advantages than disadvantages and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should encourage voyagers to visit their country.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
abroad is essential part of our life. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
learning new languages, traditions and customs of a variety of nations.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who spend much time in travels are less likely to fall into depression, more benevolent and outgoing.
As a result
, they are
usually
successful in career, family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspects. To give a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
rock-singer Ozzy
Possible spelling mistake found.
Osbourne
has spent
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
biggest part of his life touring with his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
band.
However
, his way of life is
obviously
not the best. Previously, he has been struggling with alcoholic addiction for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
this, he feels himself excellent. The reason for
that is
indisputably
long time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
, which he is going through every year.

The second benefit of travel to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is a possibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a work experience with international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. When it goes about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the Third World
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, it is their chance to immigrate to a high-developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and be the part of its development.
Thus
, Indian international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
“
Possible spelling mistake found.
Arsellor
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mital
” invited roughly 1000 employees to its filial in Germany in the fall of 2014. The prospective youth obtained an excellent opportunity to work in one of the high-developed European countries.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there is one disadvantages of this tendency. It is an
extremely
high possibility for terrorists to enter to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
under cover of tourist or worker.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, in my opinion, this obstacle could
be resolved
by improving surveillance in airports and military system
in general
.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
mostly
benefits our society and creates more opportunities for the working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and students.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay It has become easier and more affordable for people to travel to other countries Do you think it is a positive or a negative development Give your opinion and relevant examples from your experience v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
341 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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