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It is too expensive to look after and repair old buildings. This money should be spent on building modern buildings instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

It is too expensive to look after and repair old buildings. This money should be spent on building modern buildings instead. v. 1
It is often said that old-fashioned constructions are required more costly budgets to rebuild and upgrade all of them, thus modern structures are considered as a cost-efficiency way accepted by the crowds. To some extent, I totally disagree with this view for some reasons, and the essay will examine these below. Old buildings, have gone through changes in human history, are an existing representative of cultural values in national characteristics. Maybe the best example of this will be Ben Thanh market in Vietnam that was appeared in the early 1914s, and it is a particular symbol of Ho Chi Minh city so far. The market is inspired by French architectural designs and be compounded with some Asian structures so that foreign visitors nowadays can be easily attracted and be implied about heroic reminiscences of Vietnamese history. Besides that, it is obvious that the market itself is a large achievement in terms of preserving an exclusive style of Vietnamese traditional markets and orientating a new direction for Asian nations’ integration in culture. I believe that unfashionable buildings have their own valuable meanings that should be protected from the verge of collapse by human interference. The restoration of previous constructions will help the government to ease national burdens from building latest structures with technological advances. In fact, it will be an ineffective cost-saving way in breaking any old-designed buildings down and then converting them into up-to-date ones. Furthermore, the sudden collapse of these past constructions may lead to a mass of environmental pollutions and also, an aesthetic nature in public will be seriously affected as well. As a result, the government must face with an environmental crisis so that they are forced to reintroduce new compensation policies with more taxations applied directly to citizens. This can rise a widespread discontent in the whole societies, and many problems caused by the idea of constructing contemporary structures towards national budgets will never be ended. In conclusion, I would argue that the past buildings have still created their values in terms of culture and finance, thus these constructions should be preserved as well as be developed by all of generations in the future.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-fashioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
constructions
are required
more costly budgets to rebuild and upgrade all of them,
thus
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structures
are considered
as a cost-efficiency way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by the crowds. To
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, I
totally
disagree with this view for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons, and the essay will examine these below.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
, have gone through
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in human history, are an existing representative of cultural values in national characteristics. Maybe the best example of this will be Ben Thanh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
in Vietnam that
was appeared
in the early 1914s, and it is a particular symbol of
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Ho Chi Minh city
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
is inspired
by French architectural designs and
be compounded
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that foreign visitors nowadays can be
easily
attracted and
be implied
about heroic reminiscences of Vietnamese history.
Besides
that, it is obvious that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
itself is a large achievement in terms of preserving an exclusive style of Vietnamese traditional markets and orientating a new direction for Asian nations’ integration in culture. I believe that unfashionable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
valuable meanings that should
be protected
from the verge of collapse by human interference.

The restoration of previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
constructions
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
national burdens from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structures
with technological advances. In fact, it will be an ineffective cost-saving way in breaking any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-designed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
down and then converting them into up-to-date ones.
Furthermore
, the sudden collapse of these past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
constructions
may lead to a mass of environmental pollutions and
also
, an aesthetic nature in public will be
seriously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
as well
.
As a result
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
face with an environmental crisis
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they
are forced
to reintroduce new compensation policies with more
Possible spelling mistake found.
taxations
applied
directly
to citizens. This can rise a widespread discontent in the whole societies, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems caused by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of constructing contemporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structures
towards national budgets will never
be ended
.

In conclusion
, I would argue that the past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
have
still
created their values in terms of culture and finance,
thus
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
constructions
should
be preserved
as well
as
be developed
by
Consider using "all generations" or "all of the generations".
all of generations
in the future.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay It is too expensive to look after and repair old buildings. This money should be spent on building modern buildings instead. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
358 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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