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It is the natural process for animal species to become extinct (such as dinosaurs), so there is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

It is the natural process for animal species to become extinct (such as dinosaurs), so there is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. v. 2
It is commonly believed that humans should not intervene with the extinction of some species such as dinosaurs as it is a natural selection. In my opinion, I believe this statement is true in many aspects. On the one hand, the process of some animals’ eradication is usually beyond humans’ ability to interfere with. Indeed, the selection of nature to eliminate several species from the Earth often comes with disastrous global-scaled phenomena. For example, dinosaurs were completely erased from existence billions of years ago by the asteroid impacts which are completely out of humans’ hand. Therefore, if some species become extinct due to similar causes in the future, people should not look for any solution either as any attempts will be of futility. Furthermore, people’s lives will also be threatened by these phenomena. Thus, while humans are busy evacuating to save their own lives, they will not have any time to care for the animals. On the other hand, nature has chosen to eliminate some animals from earth to biasedly favor the survival of mankind. Some species such as giant mammutes would have become a serious threat to human lives if they had been left survived by nature. It can be easily imagined the extremely dangerous risk when animals from the ice age co-exist with humans in today’s world. This is why people should never prevent the natural extinction of some animals because human lives would be in danger in the future. In conclusion, I assert that there are valid reasons why people should never try to stop the natural process for some animal species to become extinct.
It is
commonly
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
should not intervene with the extinction of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
species such as dinosaurs as it is a natural selection. In my opinion, I believe this statement is true in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects.

On the one hand, the process of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals’
eradication is
usually
beyond
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans’
ability to interfere with.
Indeed
, the selection of nature to eliminate several species from the Earth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with disastrous global-scaled phenomena.
For example
, dinosaurs were completely erased from existence billions of years ago by the asteroid impacts which are completely out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans’
hand.
Therefore
, if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
species become extinct due to similar causes in the future,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not look for any solution either as any attempts will be of futility.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
will
also
be threatened
by these phenomena.
Thus
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
are busy evacuating to save their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
, they will not have any time to care for the animals.

On the other hand
, nature has chosen to eliminate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
from earth to
Possible spelling mistake found.
biasedly
favor the survival of mankind.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
species such as giant
Possible spelling mistake found.
mammutes
would have become a serious threat to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
if they had been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
survived by nature. It can be
easily
imagined the
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
from the ice age co-exist with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world. This is why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the natural extinction of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
would be in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
in the future.

In conclusion
, I assert that there are valid reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should never try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the natural process for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species to become extinct.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay It is the natural process for animal species to become extinct (such as dinosaurs), so there is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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