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In some countries, young people at the age of 18 are considered adults and can drive a car, vote and get married, while other countries don't allow it. What age do you think is the best to be considered an adult? Give reasons and examples. v.10

In some countries, young people at the age of 18 are considered adults and can drive a car, vote and get married, while other countries don't allow it. What age do you think is the best to be considered an adult? Give reasons and examples. v. 10
It is a commonly held belief that individuals should be above 18 to be considered as adults. However, some countries approve that 18 is enough to participate in mature activities. In my opinion, I believe people merely become adults when they are at least 20. To begin with, eighteen is still counted as the age of teenagers. As the word ‘teenagers’ suggests, young people who are in the age group of eighteen to nineteen are only considered as adolescents. And, since adolescence is the time when young people still need supervision from older people, it is obvious that the young can only reach maturity if they are no longer in the teenage period. They, therefore, cannot be called adults until they reach twenty which is out of the teenage range. Another reason is that, from eighteen to twenty, people have just experienced two years of higher education environment which prepares them for adulthood. This stage, of course, is still a preparation of becoming adults. At the first two years of college, students are taught not only academic lectures but also fundamental social and living skills to develop their responsibilities as a grow-up. After some college years, most people will have a complete insight into maturity. They will then become more responsible for their decisions and actions. For example, when people choose to violate the traffic laws, they are aware of the consequences and ready to take punishments. This is when young people finally turn into adults who are free to take any actions as they wish and prepared for the outcomes. In conclusion, I assert that twenty is the best age for a young person to be considered as an adult.
It is a
commonly
held belief that individuals should be above 18 to
be considered
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries approve that 18 is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to participate in mature activities. In my opinion, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
merely
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
when they are at least 20.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, eighteen is
still
counted as the age of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. As the word ‘
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
’ suggests,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are in the age group of eighteen to nineteen are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
considered as adolescents. And, since adolescence is the time when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
need supervision from older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it is obvious that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reach maturity if they are no longer in the teenage period. They,
therefore
, cannot
be called
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
until they reach twenty which is out of the teenage range.

Another reason is that, from eighteen to twenty,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
experienced two years of higher education environment which prepares them for adulthood. This stage,
of course
, is
still
a preparation of becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
. At the
first
two years of college, students
are taught
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
academic lectures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
fundamental social and living
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to develop their responsibilities as a grow-up.

After
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
college years, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have a complete insight into maturity. They will then become more responsible for their decisions and actions.
For example
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to violate the traffic laws, they are aware of the consequences and ready to take punishments. This is when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
finally
turn into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
who are free to take any actions as they wish and prepared for the outcomes.

In conclusion
, I assert that twenty is the best age for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
person to
be considered
as an adult.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, young people at the age of 18 are considered adults and can drive a car, vote and get married, while other countries don't allow it. What age do you think is the best to be considered an adult? Give reasons and examples. v. 10

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
281 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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