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It is sometimes thought that people who travel outside of their own country are more tolerant and understanding of each others. To what extent do you agree. v.3

It is sometimes thought that people who travel outside of their own country are more tolerant and understanding of each others. v. 3
People from all walks of life, both young and old, enjoy travelling. Some people argue that individuals who travel to other nations are more welcoming and liberal. In my opinion, I totally agree with this statement because it ensures peace of mind and broadens your horizons. Travelling takes you away from your routine and stressful life. It exposes you to the natural beauty and amazing sceneries our universe has to offer. It makes individuals forget about their problems and worries for some time and prepares them for the upcoming tasks. A study done at Oxford University proved that people who travel often are more joyful and better at problem solving. Therefore, going abroad freshens your mind and makes you more peace. Staying in a different country for some time exposes you to all kinds of people with different cultures and traditions. It teaches you about other religions in the world and their beauty and allows you to practice those for yourself so that you have a better understanding of others. A recent study conducted at Harvard University proves that frequent travellers are more broad-minded and accept others with ease. Hence, exploring a different part of the universe widens your thinking and makes you more thoughtful of others. In conclusion, this essay debated that people who explore other regions of the world are open-minded and have a better appreciation of others. In my opinion, I fully agree with the statement because travelling makes a person peaceful and exposes him to other cultures, making him more understandable.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
from all walks of life, both young and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, enjoy travelling.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that individuals who travel to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations are more welcoming and liberal. In my opinion, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it ensures peace of mind and broadens your horizons.

Travelling takes you away from your routine and stressful life. It exposes you to the natural beauty and amazing sceneries our universe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
offer. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
individuals forget about their problems and
The verb 'worry' does not normally take the preposition 'for'. Did you mean "worries about"?
worries for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time and prepares them for the upcoming tasks. A study done at Oxford University proved that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who travel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
are more joyful and better at problem solving.
Therefore
, going abroad freshens your mind and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
you more peace.

Staying in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
country for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time exposes you to all kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and traditions. It teaches you about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
religions in the world and their beauty and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
you to practice those for yourself
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that you have a better understanding of others. A recent study conducted at Harvard University proves that frequent
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
are more broad-minded and accept others with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
.
Hence
, exploring a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
part of the universe widens your thinking and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
you more thoughtful of others.

In conclusion
, this essay debated that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
regions of the world are open-minded and have a better appreciation of others. In my opinion, I
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
travelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
a person peaceful and exposes him to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cultures, making him more understandable.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay It is sometimes thought that people who travel outside of their own country are more tolerant and understanding of each others. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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