Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It is sometimes said that ‘travel broadens the mind’. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? v.2

It is sometimes said that ‘travel broadens the mind’. with this? v. 2
Is it true that "travel expands the mind"? In my perspective, people who usually trip, look at all situations differently and have more experience about various situations, thereby topic statement has part of the truth. Firstly, Why statement has only part not full the truth? Inasmuch as people travel with different goals, so sometimes they bring from trip only the photograph. For example, according stories that my friends tell, many resorts have restricted area outside that majority of tourists do not go. Likewise, sometimes people, especially on ski resorts, arrives at a hotel and do not see anything except a mountain, thereby return only rested. Furthermore, many countries have only entertaining sense, so tourists in such places do not learn something new. Nonetheless, visiting different countries demonstrate people's life with different side that somehow expand knowledge and world view to look on own trouble from another corner. For instance, the advertisement shows the only positive side of countries, and people think it is the truth; however, when they will come there as tourists, understand all countries have many problems similar to own country with a difference how they hide it. Moreover, people by a journey spreads information about own countries and exchange knowledge with citizens other countries: that allow looking for trouble from other corners and expanding own proficiency. Besides, presently, people around the world has capabilities exchange work experience between countries, that expand their professional level. To conclude, I partially agree because people who has educative goals even in own country find methods to do it, additionally not always travel allow learning something. However, at the same time travel help better understand cultures other countries and expand our horizons due to show the same problems from a different view.
Is it true that
"
travel
expands
the mind
"
? In my perspective,
people
who
usually
trip, look at all situations
differently
and have more experience about various situations, thereby topic statement has part of the truth.

Firstly
, Why statement has
only
part not full the truth? Inasmuch as
people
travel
with
different
goals,
so
sometimes
they bring from trip
only
the photograph.
For example
, according stories that my friends
tell
,
many
resorts have restricted area outside that majority of tourists do not go.
Likewise
,
sometimes
people
,
especially
on ski resorts, arrives at a hotel and do not
see
anything except a mountain, thereby return
only
rested.
Furthermore
,
many
countries
have
only
entertaining sense,
so
tourists in such places do not learn something new.

Nonetheless, visiting
different
countries
demonstrate
people
's life with
different
side that somehow
expand
knowledge and world view to look on
own
trouble from another corner.
For instance
, the advertisement
shows
the
only
positive
side of
countries
, and
people
think
it is the truth;
however
, when they will
come
there as tourists, understand all
countries
have
many
problems similar to
own
country
with a difference how they
hide
it.
Moreover
,
people
by a journey spreads information about
own
countries
and exchange knowledge with citizens other
countries
: that
allow
looking for trouble from other corners and expanding
own
proficiency.
Besides
,
presently
,
people
around the world has capabilities exchange work experience between
countries
, that
expand
their professional level.

To conclude
, I
partially
agree
because
people
who
has
educative goals even in
own
country
find methods to do it,
additionally
not always
travel
allow
learning something.
However
, at the same time
travel
help
better understand cultures other
countries
and
expand
our horizons due to
show
the same problems from a
different
view.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is sometimes said that ‘travel broadens the mind’. with this? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts