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It is shown that meetings, training and discussions now happen online. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages? v.1

It is shown that meetings, training and discussions now happen online. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages? v. 1
In many countries, there are some strict employment rule related to minimum age requirement in order to start a job. Few countries mandate teenagers to not leave the school or college until one attains 16 years of age; it is a pre-requisite for many of the organizations too. In my opinion, it is good to have such law in place as it will allow youth to start a career when they will have specialized skills which eventually will help them to grow as a better professional in the future. Firstly, it is not possible to start a career in some of the fields without any formal education like medicine, aviation etc. such vocations require expert guidance and rigorous training with adequate monitoring. Hence it becomes crucial for children to complete school and pursue education further. Secondly, not having an age limit will increase child labour which is considered as an evil to any society because children are often subject to exploitation and ill treatment by their employer. Finally, having specialized education, enhance the collective human resources of a nation. This in turn leads to specialized experts who can give direction to the masses and uplift the society. On the other hand, teenagers working as part time employees can be benefited from the exposure, they get during those on job hours. To illustrate, some employers consider experience as an added advantage, so exposure of similar work will put them ahead of people who do not have any prior work experience. Additionally, if a child starts working at an early age, he will understand the worth of money and will have good money management skills. To conclude, it is extremely important to have school as well as professional education to become successful in life and putting this law in place makes people abide by this. Having experience is good, but it can never overrule the school education.
In
many
countries, there are
some
strict employment
rule
related to minimum
age
requirement in order to
start
a job. Few countries mandate
teenagers
to not
leave
the
school
or college until one attains 16 years of
age
; it is a
pre-requisite
for
many
of the organizations too. In my opinion, it is
good
to have such law in place as it will
allow
youth to
start
a career when they will have specialized
skills
which
eventually
will
help
them to grow as a better professional in the future.

Firstly
, it is not possible to
start
a career in
some of the
fields without any formal
education
like medicine, aviation etc. such vocations require expert guidance and rigorous training with adequate monitoring.
Hence
it becomes crucial for children to complete
school
and pursue
education
further
.
Secondly
, not having an
age
limit will increase child
labour
which
is considered
as an evil to any society
because
children are
often
subject to exploitation and
ill treatment
by their employer.
Finally
, having specialized
education
, enhance the collective human resources of a nation. This in turn leads to specialized experts who can give direction to the masses and uplift the society.

On the other hand
,
teenagers
working as
part time
employees can
be benefited
from the exposure, they
get
during those on job hours. To illustrate,
some
employers consider experience as an
added
advantage,
so
exposure of similar work will put them ahead of
people
who do not have any prior work experience.
Additionally
, if a child
starts
working at an early
age
, he will understand the worth of money and will have
good
money management
skills
.

To conclude
, it is
extremely
important
to have
school
as well
as professional
education
to become successful in life and putting this law in place
makes
people
abide by this. Having experience is
good
,
but
it can never overrule the
school
education
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is shown that meetings, training and discussions now happen online. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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