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Study shows that many criminals have a low level education. For that reason, some people believe that the bast way to reduce crime is to educate people in prison, so that they can get a job when they leave prison. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Study shows that many criminals have a low level education. For that reason, some people believe that the bast way to reduce crime is to educate people in prison, so that they can get a job when they leave prison. v. 1
In the modern times, one of the most pressing issues is the increasing number of crimes. It is often seen that the majority of the criminals are school dropouts or have no education, while others say that vocational training and tertiary lesson should be taught them in the jail, in order to cope up with this problem. I totally agree with this statement, but some other measure must be taken to minimize the criminality as well as build a better future for criminals. Perhaps the main reason why people are in favour of teaching criminals in prison, this is because, after leaving prison, they will be able to build their career with this skill. This, also, invariably, helps them not only engage in crimes again, but it also aware other people who have the intention to do evil. For example, in the USA the studies shown that 99% of the crime rate had decreased, since the authority is focusing on the education of the offenders when they lock at the four walls. Therefore, they can absorb themselves in the fields of business and jobs, other people are inspired by them. Despite these arguments, there a more convincing way to solve this problem. The primary reason is that crime is a consequence of the circumstance. Nobody is born a criminal. Society needs to observe deeply into the situation which gives rise to the criminals and should try to block it. For instance, substandard is the main reason for a person to commit an offence. So, if the government ensures the basic needs of a person like a standard health care, housing and tertiary lesson, et Cetra of its' citizens, the incidents of robbery or any worsened antisocial activity will be decreased dramatically. To conclude, although most of the offenders have limited erudition so that they do atrocious work. It is a better measure that teaching in prison may help them to limit the scandal and enhances better future. However, from my perspective, beside this, child education, severe punishment would be the best solution to this menace.
In the modern times, one of the most pressing issues is the increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are school dropouts or have no education, while others say that vocational training and tertiary lesson should
be taught
them in the jail, in order to cope up with this problem. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
measure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
to minimize the criminality
as well
as build a better future for criminals.

Perhaps the main reason why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
in prison, this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, after leaving prison, they will be able to build their career with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
. This,
also
,
invariably
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
engage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
again,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
It seems that a verb is missing after "it". Please verify.
it
also
aware
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have the intention to do evil.
For example
, in the USA the studies shown that 99% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate had decreased, since the authority is focusing on the education of the offenders when they lock at the four walls.
Therefore
, they can absorb themselves in the fields of business and jobs,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are inspired
by them.

Despite these arguments, there a more convincing way to solve this problem. The primary reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is a consequence of the circumstance. Nobody
is born
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
. Society needs to observe
deeply
into the situation which gives rise to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
and should try to block it.
For instance
, substandard is the main reason for a person to commit an
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
ensures the basic needs of a person like a standard health care, housing and tertiary lesson,
Possible spelling mistake found.
et
Possible spelling mistake found.
Cetra
of
An apostrophe is never used to form possessive case pronouns. Did you mean: "its"?
its'
citizens, the incidents of robbery or any worsened antisocial activity will
be decreased
dramatically
.

To conclude
, although most of the offenders have limited erudition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they do atrocious work. It is a better measure that teaching in prison may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to limit the scandal and enhances better future.
However
, from my perspective, beside this, child education, severe punishment would be the best solution to this menace.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Study shows that many criminals have a low level education. For that reason, some people believe that the bast way to reduce crime is to educate people in prison, so that they can get a job when they leave prison. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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