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it is seen that people are earning higher salaries which is good for country but some believe that their salaries must be reduced, discuss both views and give your opinion v.2

it is seen that people are earning higher salaries which is good for country but some believe that their salaries must be reduced, 2
It has observed in few countries that people are earning enormously higher salaries which is good for a country while some believe that authorities must control salaries by limiting the amount they earn. In my opinion, it is good for a country because these people do their work either in the economic field or in the medicinal field. On one hand, taking control of salaries is important because this problem for organisations in either fulfilling their demands or satisfying others with same or increased one. Secondly, it raises conflicts between employees destroying the peaceful nature, while this could be solved by about the most desired one. Another reason would be political people who are earning high income but not satisfying the needs of the people who is creating an opposed behavior towards them with people demanding to either remove the person or cutoff salary. In these matters salaries to be considered those who are dedicating their work for the country. On the other hand, taking these points into consideration higher level work such as new inventions which is increasing the economic value of the country or saving people through their medical work. These people are paid higher by the government in the form of appraisal by scrutinizing their significance. Though, these work positively for the sake of bringing changes in developing their country and helping others for their betterment. so, in my belief i think their salaries must be raised for their work and dignity shown towards people. To end, work done effectively and properly for the needs of the people or for the government must be valued by raising salaries and supervision must be done for the unreliable person.
It has observed in few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are earning
enormously
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that authorities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
by limiting the amount they earn. In my opinion, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
either in the economic field or in the medicinal field.

On one hand, taking control of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this problem for
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
in either fulfilling their demands or satisfying others with same or increased one.
Secondly
, it raises conflicts between employees destroying the peaceful nature, while this could
be solved
by about the most desired one. Another reason would be political
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are earning high income
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not satisfying the needs of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who is creating an opposed behavior towards them with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
demanding to either remove the person or cutoff
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
. In these matters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
to
be considered
those who are dedicating their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for the country.

On the other hand
, taking these points into consideration higher level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
such as new inventions which is increasing the economic value of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
or saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
through their medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are paid
higher by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in the form of appraisal by scrutinizing their significance. Though, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
positively
for the sake of bringing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in developing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and helping others for their betterment.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
, in my belief
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be raised
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and dignity shown towards
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
done
effectively
and
properly
for the needs of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be valued
by raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
and supervision
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be done
for the unreliable person.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay it is seen that people are earning higher salaries which is good for country but some believe that their salaries must be reduced, 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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